Police took child’s name

[Strawberriesandcreammm]

posting on behalf of friend.

went to the police station today to make a report of my ex harassing me anyway they look the details of my child on whom isn’t anything to go with him? Why? I’m really worried they asked on the date on birth and the gp surgery Yet he’s nothing to do with the report and not my ex’s child?

If he's harassing you and the child witnesses that then that's a risk of harm to the child. It's standard practice.

In casebound child is at risk .

In case your child....

reply from friend -
The child is 12months old does this mean something bad? I was already nervous reporting it and now this im super anxious my child is happy fed healthy and safe im so worried. They are questioning my partner also on the situation which is fine as he was receiving texts from my ex but they’re going no further with him just said they’ll log it in just worried about my child I wasn’t thinking properly at the time of the appointment as on why they wanted her details

Because if someone is harassing you, it could affect your child.

When my ex came to my work and was being threatening, the police said they had to inform social services, even though our children were in a different city staying with my parents.

Reply from friend -

18:46 -copied- -
social service? Really? What does this mean? Will they contact me? I’m really worried now will they take her? I’ve never been involved with the police nor did I want to report this for these reasons

They're likely to make social services aware yes. They might ring you to establish the risk to your child. That's what happened to me when I reported my ex for DV. Don't panic too much OP, in most cases (mine included) they were absolutely fine. Rang me to see if my child was at risk and then closed the case. No visit or anything.

Your friend did the right thing reporting it to the police.

In my case SS didn't get involved. A woman from the local children's centre came and said I'd done the right thing and was doing everything right to protect my children and that was the end of it.

There's nothing to worry about if she is doing everything she can to keep her child safe. Which she is by reporting it.

Oh and the visit from the children's centre lady was voluntary. I didn't have to agree but I thought it better to let her see that the kids were fine.

Reply from friend - — copied-
I didn’t want to go and report this in the beginning since leaving I’ve been spiralling in worrying and I feel so sick about them taking my child’s details. We share a child together in which they took details for in the beginning which is understandle but my other child? My partner went and spoke to the officer Monday regarding messages he sent to him asked him what he wanted and he said not to prosecute just to log but they want me to make a statment as he came into my work and occasionally calls me shouting abuse. But he is a good dad to our child it’s just me and my partner, and I don’t like the thought of socials being involved 🙁 I feel like I’ve made a massive massive mistake and should of just put up with it

Why should your friend and her partner have to put up with this behaviour?
Why should he get to behave like that and just get away with it?

My ex stopped after I reported it to the police. I think he was shocked that i actually did it.
Life was so much more peaceful and calm for us all after that.

Also he is not a good dad if he treats his child's mother in that way.

Reply from friend -

19:11
-copied— clipboard copied—-pasted—
no I understand, I just worry about my children in the terms of name taken etc. it just made me think the police think they’re not safe at all with me, I’m just anxious that’s all I didn’t want to cause something and make life worse but I feel like it’s made me more anxious in all honesty.

it’s the socials that may now get involved is my worry I got told initially to call and log but it’s been more than this and it’s so stressful

If you now retract the statement SS might be more worried. You've reported him - that shows you're taking steps to protect your child.

Doesn't matter that it's not your child's dad. He is harassing you. SS want to be sure that your child is safe from the harassment that he's doing to you

Also OP, I've been in a similar position and I was truly terrified and worried that I'd done that right thing dragging my child into this mess with the police and SS. But I did, and so have you. It will be okay

Reply from friend -

copied —- pasted —-
19:21

i understand this but they’ve taken details from a child that nothing to do with him completely and I’m worried they think I’m now unfit or they’re unsafe

OP, To put it bluntly. If it progressed and he harmed you, then your child loses out. They want to make sure you are both safe. The father of the child is mostly irrelevant.

The police and social services will be on your (friend’s) side.
SS will not take a baby away from a mother who is engaging with them and taking steps to protect themselves and their family.

Reply from friend -
copied—- clipboard copied—- pasted——

19:29
okay so the ss report won’t mean they don’t think they should be in my
care etc? I’m just so worried this is the first time I’ve ever contacted the police.. they said to my partner they’ll type it up and be in contact with me but I’ve not heard from anyone since they asked him for our girls details and GP surgery and nursery😭

Police take details of any children within the household so they can assess any potential risk to them.
I have my own case ongoing at the moment with an ex who isn't the kids dad. The police took my child's names, dobs, schools etc. as they reside with me most of the time and they need to risk assess every crime.
They do inform children services (social services) that a report has been made, and just like the police they will also assess the risk and judge if any further action is necessary. Depends entirely on the severity.
With mine personally the social wrote me a letter to say they were made aware, and gave me a list of services locally which could support me, one of which has actually been really great. You don't have to reach out to any of them though, the social closed the case as I'm actively working with the police. Don't assume 'the social' are always there to steal children from their parents because they're not

A SCARF (don’t ask me to remember what it stands for!!) report will be sent to children’s social care and the health visiting team who will then triage it and act as appropriate. In all likelihood, the most you’ll get is a quick phone call or visit, if they even bother with that. No one is going to take a baby from a loving mother who is acting in their interests to protect their family.

Social services want to ensure the children are safe. You are the victim and as you have children they (whether they are his or not) may see you being victimised.

As long as social services are happy you are keeping the children safe (which it seems you are given the level of concern you are showing) ss will not be interested and will close the case.

Ss don't want to spend time dealing with cases where children are not at risk of harm but they do have to investigate to check that this is the case. This will probably be a one off phone call. Assuming you have had no involvement before I would doubt they would even visit you.

Also for any child under 5 the Health Visitor will be made aware. I hated my health visitor and so am biased but I feel like they are much more meddlesome than ss. After my DV incident I wrote to the HV team saying I wanted no more contact from them because I felt their handling of the situation was over the top and verging on gaslighting.

They tried to tell me what had happened was way worse than it was, told me I was lying to protect DP, they told me he had done it before and I was just too scared to tell them. All complete lies.