Has anyone had an aggressive young child who has grown out of it?

[shitmummy]

My son is 4 and is on the whole, lovely. He can be sweet, loving, funny and is so bright but he has a bad temper and lashes out at me.

Everything I seem to find online suggests that to be using violence at this age is an indicator of SEN, but it just doesn't seem like him. Is it possible that he is just taking a bit longer than others to handle his feelings and perhaps needs a bit more support to do so, but not that he has SEN or not that I've failed him as a mum?

He has a lovely, stable home life. The only stressor lately is we're all worn out from dealing with his rages. It's like a split personality at times.

To clarify by lashing out it is usually scratching, and grabbing skin hard. Occasionally he will bite if he's really, really lost it but rarely these days. Scratching is the big one.

Well this doesn't fill me with hope 😂

Possibly not the answer you are hoping for but dd2 was a biter in nursery, grew out of that into hitting and kicking in yrR & yr1 and it was more pushing and shoving in yr2 - she is getting better at managing her emotions with a lot of work at school with SENCO & we only had 2 incidents in the whole of yr3. So improving but she still needs help to ensure she has an outlet at lunchtimes & playtime (she doesn't cope well with lack of structure and struggles socially)
We are on an ASD diagnosis pathway now, the black & white thinking and focus on rule-breaking and fairness is increasingly prevalent now.
When she's fine - she's a delight but is still prone to rage/outbursts when things don't happen the way she was expecting. It's all about strategies for managing difficult situations with her & pro actively thinking about what might happen.
School support & approach/attitude to it has been invaluable for us.
Also possible that he's just slower to develop impulse control and managing feelings & emotions because he's so young.

My 6 year old daughter was exactly like this at 4. We were at our wits end. She grew out if it and has no SEN. Hope that helps!!

Also very bright. Her lashing out was predominantly aimed at me and occasionally other children. We never fully got to the bottom of it.