Tv and babies

[MyPurpleHeart]

I have an 11 week old daughter. My husband works away all week and is home on the weekends.

During the week we go out every day, baby swim, baby groups, breastfeeding groups, walking, meeting mum friends etc. We also have playtime on her mat every day with toys and songs

Being a first time mum there is something I feel guilt about. The TV.

I can't stand the silence of our empty house so usually have something on in the background. I don't sit and watch tv all day but I do like to have it on. Every now and again my baby will turn her head and look at the lights. It's too far across the room for her to see the screen clearly but I do worry that there's potentially a lot of available screen time there. Sitting in silence really isn't an option, I suffered with some PND when she was born and grieved the loss of my busy social life.

The ladies at my mum groups recoil in horror at this news. They do zero screen time in their houses. For context my baby is also a terrible napper, she can happily stay awake for 5 hour stretches and nap for 30 minutes (she sleeps longer stretches at night) so entertaining her all day is tough enough

Please tell me I'm not the worst mum ever?!

No you're not at all ,Infact I would literally bet my savings on the fact those Mums do have screen time and are just too embarrassed and fake to admit it ,I also have the tv on pretty much all day at home ,the kids don't even watch it so mostly I play music I just like the background noise ,Also screen time has become an essential thing for kids ,My 6 year old comes home with homework asking her to use her device or a home computer so you can't even escape it anyway ,those Mums just sound like they're full of themselves

Of course not. You're aware of the TV and how long it's on for and it's background noise for you, you're not sitting your baby in front of it.

I used to feed mine with the TV on. And he'd fall asleep in his moses basket in the corner of the room while we watched TV of an evening (as we followed the advice that they always need to sleep in the same room that you're in for the first 6 months). I wasn't going to not watch TV for 6 months in case he saw a screen!

You could put the radio on though if you're worried?

Also, I had a baby during one of the lockdowns. Obviously no socialising, no classes, just us at home. He's doing just fine, despite me watching TV while he was small! He watches his shows now, I look after him by myself for around 10 hours a day, he doesn't nap anymore, I need some downtime in those 10 hours and the TV gives us that! He's thriving so I wouldn't worry.

One of the best things about having a newborn was watching loads of telly while feeding them. I wouldn't give this another thought. Your baby is tiny and it won't be doing any harm at all.

You're not the worst mum ever. Could you mix it up with audiobooks and the radio? Or go out a bit more? At this age it doesn't matter but as she gets older you'll need to try and reign it in a bit so that she doesn't get into the habit of always having it on. Some screen time is fine, obviously, but in moderation and not as a substitute for proper interactive learning/activity.

What you are doing sounds fine, however if possible I would try to have an hour a day with no background noise (tv/music/radio) where you concentrate on chatting with her for optimum speech and language development.