1 year old doesn’t eat much

[DB1991]

I have a 13 month old son who hasn’t really taken to eating much. I tried BLW but he just got upset at the whole thing so we opted for spoon feeding with some finger foods each meal to let him explore. He was getting good at self feeding soft foods but lately that’s changed (ever since teething started again with back molars).

Now he chews food and spits most of it out. So back to spoon feeding but I’m lucky if he takes half a pouch. It seems he heavily relies on milk feeds still. He’s on cows milk and has a bottle with each nap (two a day) plus milk in the morning and before bed; also sometimes in between if it’s been a few hours since the last one.

I can hear his tummy rumbling sometimes and I feel terrible because I’ve tried to feed him more and he pushes my hand away. Has anyone else experienced this?

I feel like a failure. Also regarding baby bottles, I read that I should be transitioning my son onto cups. He simply won’t accept milk in anything other than a cup. My health visitor hasn’t given me any info on this, just really unhelpful re the other issues I’ve mentioned too.

How's his weight and general health? Does he just refuse food or does he get actively sick or distressed if he does eat? He's very little still and if he's tracking where he should be in terms of centiles and is generally well, you're probably fine and don't need to worry but I know that's easier said than done. I had one who took in the majority of her calories from milk until she was nearly starting primary (when she was a toddler would eat a little mushy/soft bread if she felt like it or occasionally a little very pappy food like spaghetti hoops) and didn't really eat proper meals until she was 7-8 (and even then was much much fussier than other kids her age) - I remember it being hideously worrying at the time (this was 20 years ago and I couldn't find any info or help as to what to do, books/health visitor offered confusing or contradictory advice) - I tried everything, bribes, reward charts, threats, withholding milk and only giving normal food, giving her adult food/whatever we were having, cooking special Annabel Karmel meals, giving her chocolate/crisps just so she'd eat some solids, crying, shouting, pleading, the works! Nothing really worked until she got older and gradually turned a corner and is now a very healthy, totally unfussy adult. I guess I wish I hadn't wasted so much energy and time worrying and just let her get there in her own time but it would have been pointless to tell me that at the time so I won't give you that advice!

My very unscientific advice is to continue with the pouches and also offer a small variety of finger foods to him consistently (or let him graze from your plate where it's safe/appropriate to do so), but try not to force him to eat and always let him have milk afterwards so he gets some nutrition in even on a non eating day. Yes ideally for their teeth it would be cup not bottle but I don't think it's disastrous to let them keep the bottle beyond 12 months, a lot of them find it comforting which is important if they aren't good eaters otherwise, will he take water from a cup or does he reject it entirely? Maybe in a few months get a nice new big boy sippy cup and present it as an exciting thing, lots of praise if he tries, no drama or worries if he doesn't? He's really unlikely to be an 18 year old still drinking from a baby bottle, it will come in time when he's ready, I promise! I know it's hard when everyone else's babies/kids are doing x and yours are still stuck several 'stages' behind but they do even out in the end...

Thank you so much for replying! I believe his weight is fine for his age. He was born a big baby but dropped a few centiles because of reflux which I believe still bothers him when he consumes a lot of milk although it’s no where near as bad as it was thankfully. So you could say it’s been a difficult journey in terms of feeding milk and now solids!

He drinks water from his sippy cup no problems at all, it’s just when I tried milk in it he pushed it away. I sense his gums are really sore just now so I agree with you about the comfort from the bottle. He does seem to take a lot of comfort from it and at bed time it’s like he can’t get the teat in his mouth fast enough, he treats it like his food. He’s also started wakening up during the night too as we used to give him some porridge before bed, he now won’t even eat that so I’m always trying him with wee rice pudding cups just something to try and keep him topped up.

Thank you so much for your advice, and it does help it doesn’t have to be scientific! In fact it’s better that it’s not because I probably do need to keep telling myself they all get there in the end. I suppose it’s just natural for us to worry that we are not doing things right.

My son was completely obsessed with milk long past his 1st birthday so I get it. I'd try getting rid of that morning bottle though to make sure he's not filling up before breakfast. Stick with the before nap and bedtime bottles for now if they help with settling to sleep but try and drop any others.

As for meals, I agree with just staying relaxed and offering a variety of finger foods alongside his spoon feeds. Does he have any safe foods that he loves? Things like cheese sticks or peanut butter on toast are usually a hit with toddlers.

Don't worry too much if he doesn't eat a lot once you're not concerned about his weight. It's tricky with teething etc, there's a lot going on at this age. I remember my son stopped eating anything other than plain bread sticks for 4-5 weeks after a covid infection before his first birthday. I was really worried about it at the time but I think it was just his taste buds needing time to get back to normal.

You may have tried this but does he have a spoon to hold while you're feeding him? My little boy sometimes doesn't seem to want to eat but if he's holding his own spoon he'll let me feed him. Or I give him something to hold to nibble on like a breadstick and he's happy for me to spoon feed him between gnawing on the breadstick.

My little boy is hit & miss, I’ve found he’ll always eat those little fromage frais yoghurts, and bananas are quite good, he likes games so I’ll slice up and put in a plastic cup or tub and he likes picking the slices out. I’d say try and make it abit fun, also I try to get him involved so getting stuff out of the cupboard, fridge and pressing the button on the microwave. Those little fingers have worked for us but as ever they’re all different 😭

I’m in the same position with my DD. My DS, who is now 5, was an amazing eater, so I thought I had the eating thing sorted. Not so.

DD is 1 (12 months) and will only eat yoghurt, fruit, baby porridge, and occasional finger food from my plate. I’m getting discouraged, but I know I need to continue offering her everything.

She still has 4 bottles of formula a day, so I’m wondering if that might be the issue. I have an appointment with the paediatrician next week, so I’m going to see what he says.

We had this, it was so stressful. Read 'My Child Won't Eat'. It's so reassuring. Re the milk, so long as he's not having more than 500ml a day it won't be filling him up too much. I would lose sleep about him having a bottle before bed and when he wakes up, just make sure during the day he's using cups. So long as his weight is fine just keep offering varied meals and snacks. 3 meals and 2 snacks a day. No pressure, if he doesn't eat it doesn't matter. Your best nonchalant acting! At each meal put 3-4 small amount of foods on a plate, at least 1 thing you know he likes. Make sure the plate isn't overwhelming for him. Again, no pressure. If he doesn't want it just take it away. It is so stressful and frustrating but it will get better.

Thanks everyone for responding, I feel a lot better knowing that I’m not alone here. I appreciate all of the tips as well. I do try to make sure there’s something he likes such as grated cheese or a cucumber stick. I offered him some banana sliced but it looks as though he actually has a hard time swallowing because he isn’t chewing things properly, if at all. Not sure how to improve on that but I’ll keep going!

Hi,

My 12 month old DD is EXACTLY the same. Will only eat strawberries, yogurt, fruit pouches, porridge, occasionally toast. It’s so stressful, she throws or whacks away anything else. Did it get better? I don’t know what else to try!

Hi I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this!! My DS is now 2. I’m pleased to say it was a phase and he eventually tried other things although we’re in another phase now where he won’t eat much yet again! So I think the answer is it’s just a phase and I’m sure there will be reasons for it. Whether it’s teething or just not in the mood.. who knows but I try and take comfort that he’s eating something and that’s better than nothing! I hope your wee one comes out of their phase soon mama x

My daughter ate a few spoons for cereal and a handful of peas at 12 months. She was 13 months before she ate her first meal. She was 20 months before we could reduce her formula and was 24months before we stopped. It was in a bottle and under the care of dietician due to food allergies.

Between 7 and 13 months she only gained 200g and only started gaining again when she was having food and formula so we weren't in a rush to drop the milk and growth was a bigger priority as she wouldn't drink anything from any cups until 18 months.

She's nearly 4 and goes through phases of eating well and barely eating at all. We have learnt to ride out the days and weeks where she just has a handful of pasta and rejects 3 different breakfasts. We always offer alternatives but they are low effort alternatives such as toast, crackers or quick cook pasta. We keep rejected foods and try them again the next day. Once they have been rejected twice they go in the bin. We make the most out of frozen veg to reduce the prep burden of food that ends up in the bin. Unfortunately for us due to her allergies everything has to be home cooked.

Patience and balance. Try to avoid fretting about each meal and day. Look at how the week compares. It happens often but more so when she is in a period of not eating a lot - she has a day where she eats some protein another day when it's carbs, another day when it's fruit and veg. Over the weekend it's fairly balanced but day by day it's heavily skewed. It will pass. Keep an eye on weight and keep up milk sources but be careful about offering them first and stick to a routine.

My daughter has severe silent reflux which still requires a lot of medication to control even though she is almost 4! When her reflux is playing up her appetite goes to pot. The biggest thing I have learnt about reflux is that it isn't linear and her reflux goes in and out of being managed. If they have previously had issues with reflux it could be that it is causing them bother again.

I do sometimes wonder if my son still suffers from reflux from time to time. He likes a bottle of milk in the morning and before nap and bed time. Sometimes at bed time if he drinks a lot I can hear it almost coming back on him when he’s lying down. This was something I was going to ask my health visitor about as I thought they come to visit you when your children turn two but haven’t heard anything from her!!

I would make a GP appointment and look at medication. My daughter has a cavity in one of her molars and two other molars have discoloured and are at risk of cavities caused by her reflux. She is medicated but it takes a lot of medication to keep it managed and it goes in and out of being managed every few months. She had a particularly bad flare up last summer and started grinding her teeth when refluxing at night, we think this was when the damage was done to her molar.
She's now on 40mg of omperazole domperidone 5ml once a day or 3.5ml three times a day depending on how bad it is and gaviscon in any oat milk drinks after 3pm to keep it managed. She also can't have citrus fruits, fruits juices etc to reduce damage to her teeth and to help reduce the reflux

Hi guys, I know this post is a few months old so wanted to get an update. My daughter is 13 months and literally won't eat. Throws everything on the floor and just never seems hungry. I offer 3 meals a day and she just locks her lips. My older 2 sons was never like this so finding it stressful and worrying. Wanted to see if things got better?

I am in the same boat with my 12 month old… definitely not on 3 full meals a day… I’d say we are on half a meal a day? It doesn’t matter if it is a spoon feed or BLW she just has zero interest but then is happy to breastfeed all night long 🫣 once the madness of Christmas and New Years passes I am going to try and wean / transition to bottle and I am hoping this will increase her appetite.

@BlossomTheUnicorn personally I wouldn't introduce bottles at 12 months. Most of the advice is to stop them anyway by this age.

I would instead try some gentle night weaning.

Once they are having less at night, the appetite for food should increase