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A difficult stage

5 replies

LoveYouHoneybear · 07/08/2023 02:50

I have 2 daughters who are 28 months and 8 months old. Up until about a month ago, I found it quite easy tbh. But now I am just having a very hard time. Toddler is starting to have power struggles and is demanding mommy. 8 month old is at peak separation anxiety, teething, and naps are still short/need to be contact in order to be long but she will wake as soon as the toddler makes any noise. Thankfully night sleep isn't bad (toddler sleeps thru, one wake to feed for the baby) but I am finding the days so tiresome and relentless. It is Groundhog Day where everyone cries for me all day, it seems! Both girls want me all day! And with weaning, there is food everywhere all the time. I am constantly cleaning or cooking, and usually holding someone while I do so. I get out every day with them, but that is exhausting right now too and a real puzzle with nap schedules. Tried potty training the toddler this weekend and it was an epic disaster. My husband is supportive but he works a very demanding job full time and doesn't fully understand the intensity I am dealing with. I don't know what I'm looking for here other than a whinge I guess. Maybe some solidarity or some hope for the future?? Thanks so much. Feeling low right now.

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Devilsmommy · 07/08/2023 03:21

Sorry you're feeling this way. I've only got the one, 10mo boy and he's the world's worst sleeper and most days with the teething and overtiredness it just feels like I've got a permanent leg attachment as he won't let me be any distance away. So I can't imagine how knackering 2 are. Obviously I can't give any advice just a show of solidarity. Everyone keeps telling me it gets better 🤨 so just keeping fingers 🤞 and hoping. Hopefully someone will come along with some great advice for you

trampoline123 · 07/08/2023 04:32

It's so hard when they want you both and your stuck on your own. We have a 15m age gap so I know how hard it can be.

My advice would be to get ahead of yourself as much as possible and do some bulk cooking and keep things in the freezer and fridge. I used to make purées in advance and keep them stacked in the fridge. If LO is having blended food or whatever just stick to everyone having the same meal rather than cooking lots of different things.

The other thing I swear by is to just get out the house, fresh air does you all the world of good. Do this early after breakfast, just get out before things creep in and delay you/stop you going.

Perhaps some activity books for the older one to do on the sofa when you are comforting/feeding baby.

On the weekend spend some one on one time with the eldest.

And explain how you feel to the other half and hopefully you will be more supported.

LoveYouHoneybear · 07/08/2023 16:17

Thank you both for your kind replies. It helps to know I am not the only one going through this! And those are some great tips. Luckily my husband is taking some time off work this week to help out, because I am on my knees!

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Junebuggirl · 13/08/2023 08:44

Parenting is definitely ups and downs, you just need to find a new way of managing

TinyTeacher · 13/08/2023 09:37

Urgh. Teething. It comes to an end, thats really all there is to say....

Getting 2 to nap is a bugger. Hopefully your little one will start linking nap cycles soon - I think 9-10 months is typical for this. I'm the meantime, do both do pram naps? I used to be able to get a ling nap out of my little ones by walking until they were past the first nap transition, then I could park them up. Bliss! Sometimes I'd take a book and just fit in a park. Then if one woke they could be entertained/have a snack.

I'm afraid toddler-news will probably continue at least another 6 months or so. It's tough.

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