Is it OK for a baby to just ‘chill’?

[BBmybaby]

I’m a FTM to a 3.5month old. I feel an obligation to stimulate/entertain him most of the time by talking to him, taking him out to the shops/for a walk and playing with toys etc. however it does get tiring haha and I noticed that he is actually OK chilling by sucking his thumb and staring at times but I feel bad as I feel I’m neglecting him? But he seems perfectly content, and as I’m down with a cold right now, it would be great knowing if this is OK to get some rest. TIA!

Of course it's okay! Can you put your baby near a window so that he can see a tree? Mine was that for ages just staring at the leaves. I don't think it's good to overstimulate babies.

It is more than OK! You’ll wear yourself and your baby out if you’re trying to entertain him all day. If he’s quiet and content that is fine.

It's a good idea.

DD used to sit in a little chair and just go round the house with me watching me do housework. I’d obviously talk to her at the same time. Surely attention the whole time will over stimulate him? The current advice is that it is good for children to be bored at times? can he see the outside ? My babies loved watching the branches move.

My children, when babies, liked:
Watching telly
Watching me sort the kitchen
Listen to the radio
Play with a rattle while I had a coffee
Sit in pram in garden and watch the birds
Sit in pram in kitchen and watch the weather
'Sit' (be propped up on) sofa and gum a toy

Recommend a crinkly book toy.

Don't make work for yourself. Humans of all ages need "nothing" time.

Congrats on your lovely baby!

Have you got a baby gym? It's a playmat with arches going over it and things dangling down from it that jingle etc - my baby loves to entertain him self on this

If you've spent the past 3.5 months constantly entertaining your baby you must both be exhausted

If course you can leave them be, how do get anything done?

They soon let you know if they are not happy! If they are content that is fine and good . Please don't beat yourself up about being the best parent , your child will develop into the little person they become, feed them , nurture them, read to them and talk to them and love them, that'll do for a couple of years

Also a baby chair in front of the washing machine is extremely entertaining for him while you cook or wash up

One of mine was v happy watching the rain on the window. Lots of opportunity for that this summer.

1. Second and subsequent babies always have to entertain themselves a lot more than firstborns. They come to no harm.
2. I am old and in my day babies spent most of the day in the garden in a pram. Doctors and health visitors promoted this as a way for the babies to get fresh air but I think it was really so that the mother could do her housework without hearing her baby cry and thus wouldn't be tempted to pick the baby up before it was time for the four-hourly feed. I feel I am reasonably sane and balanced in spite of this, and I love my parents dearly. No effect on bonding, attachment, intellectual or any other form of development.
3. I think it's essential for children to learn to amuse themselves without having every activity directed by an adult. We all need downtime and processing time.

Mine loved watching the cat on the window, shadows, the washing machine.

They need some stimulation but not all the time. Of out and about there is enough going on to entertain them.

Music worked really well also they both are word perfect on top 80s and 90s, handy for quizzes.

Reading this to DD 20yo and she said she still watches the washing machine sometimes as it's so calming. She said she remembered enjoying it as a child 😊

Yes! If you’re lucky enough to have a babe who is happy to chill out, just enjoy it. Seriously everything is new to them, their little minds are stimulated by just being at this age. Give yourself a break and nurse your cold. Get well soon!

It’s actively good for babies to just be. Mine loves staring out of the window, he’s got a cushion he likes to look at, any source of light entertains him. He doesn’t like the baby gym floor mat thing, I think it’s too exciting 😂 I’ll try the washing machine thing, it’s on daily!

They’re learning every minute of the day, it’s really healthy for them to chill and absorb life around them.

DD was happy doing the same between feeds, cuddles and chit chat/singing and plays brilliantly by herself at 4. DS has her around to interact with him so his life is generally more exciting than hers was but a bit of benign neglect is perfect. Go easy on yourself.

I do get stuff done with him with me and me talking to him about what I’m doing :)

Thanks everyone for your kind comments. I will let go a bit and let baby chill if that’s what he wants. I think I’m hesitant about it because he’s only just started doing this for the past two weeks or so and I thought, wow, what’s happening here? So we’re OK to just chill out? Great! 😂

It's more than ok ... it's part of development to self soothe and entertain themselves. And you might think he's staring at the wall but even that is new to baby. They're learning all the time.

Love this thread. Wondered exactly the same thing as OP. And I’m just as exhausted from permanently trying to actively entertain my nearly 4 month old.

Looks like we’re allowed a rest after all 😜

My sisters favourite activity at this stage was smiling at the curtains. My gran used to get (mock) offended when she’d been playing with her all morning and then she’d laugh and smile at the curtains.

You sound like you are doing amazing. Yes let them chill and just watch. It's all stimulating and good for learning to just take a step back and be calm x

Yip absolutely. Mine used to sit in the garden I would have a juice and he would watch the trees/birds/random bit of fluff😂although he's a toddler now and rarely sits still🙈I do feel bad if he's just sitting doing "nothing" and end up on the floor playing along with him😂😂

Me too! Plus I think I'm also getting a cold lol.