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End of tether

2 replies

UnderPressure23 · 05/08/2023 22:17

I’m at my wits end. I keep getting so angry with my kids. I’m utterly exhausted. Single parent to three girls, age 10-15. Two with adhd. They squabble relentlessly. Just when I think it’s bedtime and I might bet a rest they start up again, and where they used to go to bed and stay there, the past few weeks they keep coming back down to ask ridiculous questions. I’ve lost my rag more than once this week. Which I hate doing, but I don’t know how to explain to them that they need to give me a teeny break. They seem to get it in daylight hours but come bedtime they just go silly again. I hate being a shouty grumpy mummy 😢
The entire situation not helped by the fact that I work full time in a relatively stressful job (sole earner, father doesn’t really contribute enough), and ex is taking me to court over fact that the children are not wanting to see him. I need a break or somehow to reset myself but I don’t know how! Any advice?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Nell80 · 06/08/2023 06:51

This sounds so difficult, I'm sorry it's like this for you.
Have you had assessments for your two with ADHD? Can you go back to the report they gave you and see if there's advice in there?
Parenting a child with ADHD is all about managing your own stress and triggers sadly, there's very little you can do to control things. It's really hard because all you want is someone to help, but it's probably not going to happen. Are there any natural consequences that could work? E.g. if you squabble I'm not going to step in and referee but you are all going to go in separate rooms for 15 mins sometimes natural consequences work with ADHD, sometimes not.
At age 10 to 15 they should still be seeing dad (unless he's unsafe) - can you put some firm boundaries in around that. You need a break - dad can provide it.
I really hope everything works out for you.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 06/08/2023 07:41

Great advice from Nell. Don't forget that they often behave much younger than their peers if they have ADHD so it's more like parenting DC between around 7 to 12.

It's really hard I know. Have you talked to them about regulation and do they have any strategies?

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