How do I get DS to eat more in his high chair?

[Berangere]

DS has just turned 1. He had a period of intense teething where he went off all fruit and veg and most of his go-to foods. He’s now coming out of this but will still mess around when eating. He will take an age to get through what’s on his tray (a lot of it like tomatoes and strawberries get sucked and tossed into his bib). He starts throwing food which is usually his “get me down from here” cue. However usually after 20-30 mins he starts getting whiny for more food!
It is such a rigmarole to get him back in his high chair to finish his meal so I normally get some snacks and he has them as he’s playing. Is there anything I can be doing to encourage him to eat more when he’s in his high chair?! Or is this something he will just learns?

He's a toddler. He's going through a very normal developmental stage and it's fine that he refuses things. This is absolutely normal.

Please try to just go with it - I know it's hard because it feels different but l please know this is completely normal.

Is he even hungry at meal times?

What's a typical day if food look like for him? Like rough quantities and times.

Loads of people either constantly feed their child with snacks without realising and/or over estimate how much food their kid should be eating at meal times.

Also, stop the snacks whilst playing.
He should be sitting down at a table/high chair/on a mat whatever and eat there.

It’s what mine were like at that age too. Their stomachs are still quite tiny so they can’t eat much in one go.

He is literally 12 months old!

Both mine were horrors at that age for sitting at mela times. Despite us always sitting as a family for meals and all the usual things you’re advised to do. The only thing that bought us any peace (and I know this is the ULTIMATE of all dinner time sins!) was to let him watch something on TV/ipad. Even then we’d get 10 mins max before he’d loose interest. He’s 2 now and has improved loads and will sit for a bit longer, usually still with screen time.

I don’t feel too bad as our eldest, who is now 6, had the ipad too as a toddler but can now eat without it quite happily e.g at school, a party, a restaurant, a cafe - he just learnt to sit still for longer so I don’t think it’s such an awful tool to use if you need it.

@Berangere I completely agree with @00100001 on this one. Stop the snacks when playing. Mine is almost 3 and still doesn’t snack while playing. Just don’t give it as an option. If we’re at home he sits at the table for all snacks and meals. If we’re out and about he still sits down to eat.

Are you sitting down and eating with him at meal times?

I would do DD a graze plate she could go to on her small table with a drink next to it, stuff that's not messy and is easy to tidy up and if I left the room I moved it out of her reach. Food at that age was for exploration and trying different textures and flavours, I never wanted it to become a battle ground and she's in her teens now with a good relationship with food and eats a wide range and doesn't snack.

As a toddler she'd sit with us for meal times but wasn't pressured to eat more although she always preferred it if the food came from my plate so I would plate her dinner up on the side of my plate and 'share' with her, meals became more formal ie expected to eat more from about 2 years.

Mine has always hated high chairs. I also commit the cardinal sin of just letting him watch CBeebies when eating, then suddenly at two and a half he decided to sit at the table, so all was good!

So?

He should still be sitting down whilst eating.

That is all there is to say.
I would like to add that snacks are not a substitute for food. Especially the baby junk such as puff, straw, rice cakes, crisps, ....

But stopping snacks throughout the day in a 12 mo old is cruel. Most children that young cannot stick to three meals a day, their stomachs are too small and they need smaller meals with snacks inbetween or they will get very hungry. By snacks I don’t mean junk, I mean decent healthy finger foods.

Your child is twice the age of OP’s child, your advice isn’t age appropriate imho.

But stopping snacks throughout the day in a 12 mo old is cruel. Most children that young cannot stick to three meals a day, their stomachs are too small and they need smaller meals with snacks inbetween or they will get very hungry. By snacks I don’t mean junk, I mean decent healthy finger foods.

He can still have them sitting down though.

Some kids don't want to sit down to eat. My now 21 year old didn't. My other two also had a small sitting down window. Good just wasn't as important to them. They're all capable of sitting down for a meal now, even my autistic one.

But why? The OP said it is a huge stressful faff for her and her DC. There is nothing wrong with a 12 mo grazing. You’re just advising she do something that will make eating and food a battleground and the OP will be making a rod for her own back.

Should he also say grace before his meal and wait until everyone's finished before leaving the table?!

@ReleasetheCrackHen Im well aware that my child is much older! My son has sat down for snacks since they were introduced. Snacking while playing isn’t an option in my house and has never been.
Personally I don’t think 1 is too young to start learning that. When mine went through the grazing stage he probably sat down 7/8 times a day. Of course it’s a faff cleaning the high chair etc every time but it doesn’t last forever. He sat down and I sat down with him every single time.

Each to their own on how they people choose to approach it with their own kids. The OP asked for advice and I gave mine.

A normal day looks like this:
7am 100ml cows milk and breakfast - usually toast and fruit or cereal
11am post nap snack - usually try him with blueberries and home made mini muffin (I try to sneak fruit and veg in to these)
12.30pm lunch tends to be something picky like crackers, hummus, veg sticks, chopped fruit, a few melty puffs and some yogurt. He has about 120ml whole milk with this
5pm dinner usually pasta with veg and sauce, fish pie, chilli, tuna pasta with a yogurt after.
7pm 210ml formula bottle and bed

His best meal to sit down for is normally breakfast he does gravitate more to the puff/crisp style snacks which are sometimes the easy go to options. As per my OP he is really funny about fruit and veg by themselves still, he often chews them and spits them out or spits the skin out after. He absolutely detests banana, which is odd to me as all my friends babies are crazy about banana and fruit in general.

And when I say snacks, I’ll often get some bits from his dinner and put them in a suction bowl on the coffee table. But he will always gravitate to a cheese cracker over fruit.

He is at nursery 3 days a week and seems to eat well on those days. I will try putting him in the high chair for his snack.

When mine were that age I only gave them food in the high chair. If they're not eating meals then no snacks!

My friend would constantly give her small DCs snacks as they wandered around, spreading a trail of breadsticks and raisins wherever they went. Then was surprised they didn't eat their meals and were "picky" eaters, they were just full of days old snacks they found scattered in every room!

Not saying you're like that at all, it just bewildered me at the time!

Do you sit and eat as a family at the table at the same time? DD stays much longer when we do that and chat to her.

We do 'food stays at the table but your body doesn't have to'

So if she wants to get down and come back that's fine....why is it such a rigmarole to just put them back in the chair?

Ditch the melty puff/crisps...it's basically crap and junk food.

Let him chew and push out the food etc. He's still exploring.

How much pasta are you giving him at a meal? As in how many grams of dried pasta?

The more you give him baby junk food, puffs, crisps, the harder it will be for you to get him to like real food.
HIs lunch isn't really a lunch. It is just random food from packets on a tray or undressed vegetables. Can't you prepare him a hot meal. A soup with a bit of past and parmesan , a piece of fish with a tablespoon of rice, roasted veggies, or if raw veggies, chop a tomato with olive oil , ... no wonder he loses interest.

Puff are Cheetos for babies. And crisps, well, ...everyone knows the attraction fried food combined with salt (or in the case of "baby crisps" powdered vegetables providing the saltiness) have .

Those snacks are nutrient void. They do nothing good. And they make him develop a preference for artificial ultra processed food.

How do you present the fruit? Small cubes of watermelon or melon are usually well liked. How do you prepare vegetables? Thin slices of zucchini roasted in the oven with rosemary and garlic are absolutely delicious.

Yes, all these things take time.His snack should be fruit. Cubed, sliced, ... Ditch those snacks and don't buy them anymore.