Help with 9.5 month old sleep. Please!

[CliptyClop]

I have never posted before but have gotten some very valuable advice from reading other posts. I hope I have posted in the right place.

I know I don’t have it bad and this sounds like a good problem to have but my 9.5 month old son started sleeping through the night 7pm -5/6am from about 7 months after we sleep trained him. Which I know is amazing and I’m so grateful, then he started crawling and teething and all went to hell in a hand basket. He was waking at 2am for 1.5/2hrs and waking 4:30am for the day. It killed me as my body had adjusted to more sleep so had to pull my mind and body back to broken sleep. Nothing we did seemed to help. I was also travelling a lot at the time (visiting family and weddings and whatnot) and that threw him off. When we were home for a while he settled back into routine, for about 2 weeks and then it went all nuts again. But I realised he was sleeping loads in the day. A 2/2.5hr nap in the morning at 9am and then sometimes 1.5/1.45hr nap at 1:30/2pm, I thought he needed sleep so let him sleep and wasn’t complaining but for the fact he was waking at 2:30am again for hours and then awake really early as well.

Here is my question/pondering; I had to go out the other morning and had to wake him up from his nap 45 minutes in, he then had 1.45hrs in the afternoon and then slept through the night. The next day as a test I woke him up 1hr into his morning nap and he then had 1.5hrs afternoon nap and he slept through, 7pm until 5:30am early but better than broken sleep. As a test I let him sleep as much as he wanted yesterday and he slept 2.5hrs in the morning and then 1.45hrs in the afternoon and guess what.. he was awake at 2:30am for an hour and then at 4:45 ready for the day!

My question to you wise MNs is, shall I wake him from his naps? I feel awful doing this but does anyone have experience from waking their DC from naps and is it fair? I feel awful but he was actually more rested having a full nights sleep but then I would wonder why he would sleep that much in the day if he didn’t need it.

Sorry for the long post and I hope I haven’t left anything out.

Thank you!

Hi OP. No advice I'm afraid. I too have a 9.5mo. He hasnt ever slept through consistently, unfortunately.

However, I also had to start waking him from his naps when he was about 8mo. He naturally slept for around 2hr in the morning and 1.5hr in the evening and it was definitely making his night time sleep worse I think. Usually resulted in wake up in the night and he was very difficult to get back to sleep or else would continue to have a lot of broken sleep.

Currently we wake him after 1.5hr in the morning and 1hr in the afternoon. He still doesn't sleep through and some nights can still have a few wakes (no long ones like before at least).

I'm watching your post with interest as I am considering shaving his naps more but I also don't want a cranky tired baby all day so I'm not sure what the best approach is.

Hi EMC2022,

Thank you for replying. It’s such a hard mathematical puzzle isn’t it! So yesterday we woke up after 1hr in the morning, hoping he’d do a longer one in the afternoon, but only did 1.18hr but still not too bad as within the daily recommended sleep. It was better, he slept through from 7pm till 4am. But would not go back down and was awake for the day.. but his top tooth is just about to break through so I think teething woke him up and then his brain kicked in. He’s nearly walking so doesn’t stop. But he was shattered come 7:45 and fell asleep eating breakfast! So had to put him down.. now I don’t know what to do.. because if I wake him after 45 minutes (it’s been over that) it’s really early and messes the whole day off.. going to let him sleep and then try a shorter one this afternoon. Honestly.. sometimes I just think it’s a phase and you have to get through it. I spoke to my mum who had 4 kids and she was like, I always woke you from naps! But now he’s been awake since silly O.clock and knackered! Help! 😂. Hopefully someone comes along with the perfect cure! Hope you didn’t have a too bad a night?

Baby's should have a maximum of 3 hours nap time a day. No more otherwise it will mess with their night sleep. So yes I would let him have 1 hour in the morning and then 1.5 in the afternoon or vise versa (which ever way around works for you) and this should help.

Sent before I was ready.

Baby's sleep is such a minefield and I do think they go through phases. And teething and developmental leaps do interrupt them.

My DD sleeps through 11-12 hours each night but only does 30 minutes nap in the morning and 45-1hr in the afternoon. She's always cranky/clingy in the afternoon and it kills be everyday! I've done everything to try and elongate them.

Mine is nearly 2, but around 14/15 months I tried capping his nap and it was revolutionary. We started waking at 7am if not already awake, and capping daytime sleep. This really helped as he was having a bad night, then catching up on sleep by having a lie in/long nap and then had slept too much come bedtime and would have a bad night again. After about 2 weeks his night wakes/split nights/early wakes had practically vanished. We still get a wake up some nights but haven’t had any split nights since capping daytime sleep.

If he really resists being woken we let him sleep a bit longer or if teething/poorly/random issue we let him sleep as much as he likes, obviously you have to be flexible. It’s a bit trial and error, and you have to keep adjusting as they get older but it really has helped consolidate our nights.

Thank you NewCracker. It really is a minefield isn’t it. I do find my son is on the lower end of the sleep need spectrum, which I am fine with as I am too, but broken sleep kills me. I think that even shorter nap in the morning you mentioned seems to help. He’s just done an hour now, and going to try and stretch him out until 1:30pm. He doesn’t even seem tired now! X

Thank you Pastaf0rbreakfast, I do feel it makes a big difference. The more day time sleep he has the less at night he has! I think the 4am wake up today was to do with teeth. That’s the thing isn’t it, if they are sleeping it’s hard to wake them up as you don’t know if they need it but I do think he’s gotten into a bad habit of making up for lost sleep at night. And he’s better for a king stretch at night. He just woke himself up from an hour sleep. I thought after waking at 4am he would sleep for ages but glad he hasn’t. Let’s see what tonight brings! X

I have a 9.5 month old and have this exact same problem. I'm sure it's teething and all the stuff they are learning but I do cap his naps to no more than 3 hours a day. (Unless he's unwell) He sleeps much better now.
You will have had your baby the same time of year as me and I think the early 4/5am wake ups are also due to light coming in. They don't know what time it is but see some daylight and think party time.

I sleep trained my son when he was 9 months old and I used a sleep consultant to do so as we had numerous problems.

She basically changed everything about my son’s routine, including his naps.

After using her his new routine was:

He woke at 6am and we put him down for his first nap at 9.00am, for 1hr and 15 minutes. We were told that even if he didn’t go to sleep straight away we must still get him up by 10.15.

His second nap was then at 2pm, again for another 1hr and 15 minutes.

When we first started this way of napping he was fighting it a little as he was so used to having no nap routine and being able to sleep when he wanted for as long as he wanted but after about a week of implementing this he started sticking to the programme and would go to sleep within minutes of being put in his cot.

So his last nap of the day would end at 3.15pm, we’d then start the bedtime routine at about 6.30pm and he’d be asleep by 7pm.

Like I said, the first week of having such a strict routine was hard on him (and us) but after that week he was napping well at set times and he was sleeping through the night.

Hi F1nit0, we must be pretty close with birth dates in that case. My son was born 25 October. I did think about the light and put a black out blind but it’s not perfect perfect and now he is standing up, yeah he sees the light and looks around the room and his brain is awake!

WantingToEducate, thank you very much for this. We did sleep training at 6 months and he was on a good nap schedule, and slept through like a dream, he then went to two naps and was still fine. When he was 8.5 months I think the regression hit and it went bad and I haven’t really got back permanently yet. I do think like you said, I need to stick to the new (waking up at certain times) for a week or so as they say it takes a while to have an effect. So I shouldn’t be discouraged yet. He went down early for his nap this morning and was up by 9am.. but he only slept until 1.15hrs so I’m thinking to stretch that next one until 1:45/2pm and keep stretching it a bit every day. Thank you and I’ll keep persisting. Your schedule and times look good! X

@WantingToEducate that is thr current routine I am trying too but an hour and a half later for everything. (Starting the day at 7.30am and ending at 8.30pm as he seems to have naturally fallen into that routine and it will work better for us when I return to work).

@CliptyClop not the best night. A good few wakes but I have just spotted his 7th tooth popping through (3rd bottom one) so I'm sure that contributing. Also his nappies are leaking at night again. Nappies are as bad as naps, you find one that works and then a month later that stops working too 😅

@EMC2022 sorry you didn’t have the best night 🤗 but oh my gosh. We have the leaking nappies again too! I forgot to mention that. He used to leak through a lot but around 7 months it totally stopped. He’s not having more milk, less in fact. But suddenly he had leaked through his sleeping bag even last night.. that can’t help can it? Haha that’s true about nappies and naps.. in fact all of it! I like routine and they change so much, I need to learn to go with the flow more! And 7th tooth, that’s amazing (although not for sleep I know) my son is on his fourth and that’s just breaking through, so can’t be helping either. Going to stick to the nap schedule and see what happens and praying to the sleep gods for us 🙏

Babies have a total sleep need over 24 hours; too much nap means they’re meeting their sleep needs and cut short their night sleep or do a split night.

DS I cut his morning nap to 30 minutes (barely enough time to shower, clean the high chair from breakfast, empty the dishwasher, make the cup of tea, then not drink it), then he does two hours lunchtime nap: any more and he’ll wake at night. Any less and he’ll wake early.

Teeth definitely upset his naps so nurofen at lunch right before the big nap, and anbesol after he’s finished eating, and if teeth are a problem I try to push the nap back so if he only does 90 minutes it’s late enough in the day he can make it to bedtime without being overtired.

It’s a constant jigsaw puzzle of “if this, then that” till they drop to one nap… then they start resisting bedtime and you have to start cutting that nap… then the nap goes altogether and you have to spend all day with the little buggers.

@spitefulandbadgrammar ‘then the nap goes altogether and you have to spend all day with the little buggers’ this really made me laugh! Part of me is looking forward to not having to worry about naps and planning the day around it, but also know this means you get no time to your self. I do go back to work in October when he will be 12 months. I think I’m going to play around with his naps for a bit but I do have a feeling it might mean cutting the morning nap to 30 minutes, which like you said leaves no time and I enjoy that time but would much rather him sleeping through at night! I do worry, that he then doesn’t always sleep more than 1hr for the afternoon one that means he isn’t getting enough. But will play around with it for a bit and see what happens. It definitely keeps on changing doesn’t it. I also know this is a small amount of time in our lives and it will pass!

The time comes back! My four year old is playing quite happily in the room next door as I write this, while I’m lying on the sofa dicking around on my phone. But there’s definitely a grim era between the end of nap and the beginning of independence where you’ll long for the nap, even though you can now think about the day as a day, instead of pre-nap and post-nap.

You might have luck lengthening the lunch nap if you cut the first one; also some firm resettling if he wakes early from a nap – DS likes a bum wobble in the pitch dark and will go off again 9/10. The 10th time is always teeth, he’s got 3,000 😑

3,000! 😁😅😭

You've had some great advice op. Solidarity. As you say, this too shall pass ...

@spitefulandbadgrammar that sounds nice! He has done 1hr this morning and 1.5hrs this afternoon. I might try shortening the morning one like you say and see what that does. Feels awful waking him! 😱. I am sure this will come to some kind of schedule and it will all change again onto the next phase. Thank you for your help! 3000! 😂 it does seem to go on forever and I’m only 4 in!

@Coffeepott indeed. Good advice and I’ll try a few things out!

the leaking nappy thing, have you considered sizing up as muy lo wears a 4 in the day and a 5 at night