This is a complex issue.
We suspect our LO has either ADHD or austism (or both), he's on the waiting list for a diagnosis but it's a 12 month wait.
He's been in nursery since 6 months part time but things became 'problematic' just before he started preschool (3 to 4). Biting and scratching. They dealt with it best they could by removing him from the situation and we tried to teach him how to express his feelings and to keep hand on own body and teeth with only for food and discipline at home.
In preschool, one of the children he hurt, we'll call him Kay, has been upset with my son ever since. On pick ups Kay will tell me everything my son has done wrong that day and will try to disclpine my son over everything he does, particularly when he's sensory seeking to calm down, until he lashes out, that what some of the staff have told me that happens. I know 4 year olds will be 4 year olds, noones innocent or a bully. But it is weary constantly being told by Kay and his mum about how bad my child is, because she will repeat to me everything Kay tells her at home.
LO's can be very reactive, and his actions are bigger than needed for the given situation. It's an known issue at home and preschool. So we've tried sticker charts, zen patches (essential oil stickers), now and next tactic, practicing breathing exercises for him to use at preschool (though this one is tricky to land, he FIGHTS doing this), fidget popper in his bag for sensory seeking. It doesn't help he's VERY bright, there's nothing new to learn there for him, another reason I think he acts up, boredom.
In January his teacher left and since then it's been a string of different people, 3 different teachers have been and gone and I've noted there's hasn't been any constructive teaching since Jan either, not to mention we haven't had a parenting evening since before COVID. Then 2 months ago LOs best friend left the preschool and he's been lost since then. He's been more miserable going in. And now the SENCO is only in half days. And so he become more disruptive yet again. It's become par for the course, change in routine? He's unsettled and disregulated.
He starts school in sept, had 2 transition days and LOVED IT! Buuuuut it's made going to preschool harder, he's over it, you can tell.
What I'm asking is, should I pull him out?
It'll make my life super difficult for the summer since I could REALLY use the childcare but he's started to call himself a bad kid (never been said at home). I feel like I'm desperately trying to keep him on the straight and narrow with all these tips and tricks, to the point of micromanaging only for it go tits up as soon as I pass him over to preschool to the new rando who's watching his class for the day.
I have raised these issues with the preschool but they said they're doing the best they can with the staff they have and I get that but at this point I need what best for my son.
I'm thinking of just giving him a break and trying to get him mentally prepped for school. I've already spoken to his new teacher about him and his needs and she's been warm and receptive. Now we'll just wait and see and hopefully get an EHCP
Advise we've turned to so far:
We've been reading how to talk to kids so they'll listen and half way through the whole brained child, also got colour monster goes to school for LO and a few other books.