Letting 5 month old cry it out?

[Mummytotwo90]

My 5 month struggles falling asleep of a night, I’m really really struggling.. yesterday night I was really overwhelmed and came downstairs with the baby monitor and set a 5 min timer.. just before the timer went off he was fast asleep!

Tonight I was struggling again done his whole bedtime routine, bath, book, white noise, feeding, cuddling, rocking and I took the baby monitor downstairs and set a 5 min timer and he’s fast asleep right before it went off.

I know I’ll probably get loads of hate for this, but is this really bad for him to let him cry for 5 mins? I won’t continue to do this if it is and I never usually let him cry but I can’t seem to soothe him, for reference I’ve tried staying next to him with my hand stroking his head and my presence seems to upset him more and when I pick him up he cries even worse the minute I put him back down.

I never ever done this with my other son as he’s always been a good sleeper.

Am i damaging him letting him cry for 5 minutes is this really awful :( ?

@CFornot Most cases of SIDS are between 0-4 months old, as the Lullaby Trust states, after 5/6 months old there is normally another contributing factor to death.

The only reason they say about sleeping in the same room is so you are close to monitor if something happens, or breathing changes. Most babies go down to bed at 6.30/7pm, it's not tenable to say you're going to sit with them all night.

Babies crying includes blocking out the world. CIO means leaving them until they give in no matter how long it takes. It doesn't sound as if that's the case here OP

This sounds fine to me! I cuddled my number 1 to sleep until he was ten months and he's now 16 months and only just started doing four hour stretches. I'll definitely be putting my next one down from time to time!

I left my son to sleep in cot at 8 weeks. Had the monitor. He was perfectly fine

For naps*

I honestly think that you will know if your baby is crying in real distress/pain etc. rather than just feeling disappointed that he is not being carried or cuddled.

TBH I used not to let my first baby cry when put down, but with the subsequent ones it was different as there were competing demands on my time with other little ones in the house. It does not seem to have done them any harm, and I am sure I would have known how to distinguish any serious distress.

5 minutes of crying really will not harm your baby. Your sanity matters too!!

What- you are supposed to sit awake next to your sleeping baby all night?

And some people drive around without a seatbelt on. Just because your child was fine doesn’t make it safe.

Like I said to the OP, your child your choice.

That isn’t true. Having an adult in the room reduces the number of babies dying from SIDS. There are theories as to why this is true but no one knows for certain.

New research came out that its because there's a chemical in the brain. So if a baby is born with it. You can't prevent it from happening.

Yep. My son was in own room at 11 weeks. We both slept much better for it.

That is just luck-some people that smoke never get cancer. Doesn’t make smoking safe. What a ridiculous risk to take.

No that’s no what the research says at all.

Do you have a link to that research please?

I’ve found it. The research says “This abnormality appears to fit into the triple-risk model of SIDS, which holds that SIDS occurs only when three elements come together: an infant with an underlying vulnerability, a critical period of development, and an external stressor.”

So brain chemicals is only part of it and it suggests unsafe sleeping practices can still trigger SIDS.

OP - I havent rtft but have read your replies.im not in favour of cry it out at all, especially not at such a young age.

It doesnt sound like that's what you're doing though. Some babies do better settling alone, and seem to fight against being soothed, he's not screaming, it sounds fine. Hopefully it (moany self settling) continues!!

That sort of survivorship bias is annoying. But so is someone jumping on to shout about safe sleeping guidelines. OP could hear her baby crying… so he probably isn’t dying of SIDS. There’s got to be some room for nuance. Leaving a 5 month old baby to fall asleep on their own in a room whilst watching on a camera is still being safe.

My point was that the poster was jumping on her about the sage sleeping guidelines without even having the manners to read her posts as there was not in obviously problematic being done - hence asking which guideline was being ignored

What a bizarre way to say “sorry I didn’t read your posts and missed that before jumping on you”

Not even a hint of apology

That isn’t true. Having an adult in the room reduces the number of babies dying from SIDS. There are theories as to why this is true but no one knows for certain.

Research and "theories" show this is because they're present to pick up any issues.

It's ridiculous scaremongering and not what anyone needs on their thread. SIDS is still rare and to say putting your baby in a perfectly safe cot with a baby monitor is wrong is absolute piffle.

It's also worth remembering, it's guidance.

Right?!

Just a little update if anyone was interested..

I put him to bed last night around 10pm (this is his usual sleep window) and he stayed asleep! Little murmur but nothing more, he awoke at 2am kicking his legs haha but I waited to see what he would do, he grumbled for a few minutes and fell back to sleep on his own and slept until around 5am, had his feed and then slept until 7.30am when we get up.

I can’t believe he woke and managed to settle himself alone and without crying at all.

this is the longest he’s ever slept 🥹

thanks for all your replies I have read them all and I feel like I’ve done the right thing for me and my baby, he’s sleeping better and I’m sleeping better, he’s also happier during the day and seems way less cranky ❤️

Good news @Mummytotwo90 🙂

That’s brilliant @Mummytotwo90

long may it continue for you