Why can’t you tell me you need the potty!?!

[Jmummy1989]

My just-turned 3 year old has been potty trained since Easter time (so about 6 months)and will go to toilet when prompted (mostly). He has never told us when he needs to go for a poo!

This means unless I catch him in time we are still having accidents.

I have gone to doctors about how soft his poops are as was worried about toddler diarrhoea but that hasn’t really helped the pooping situation. We’ve looked a lot at diet but now they’re “normal” it hasn’t changed the situation.

I have tried sticker charts, naked when at home, and lots of praise. I’ve tried prompting and then not giving him any prompts but nothing is getting him to tell me he needs the toilet.

I think it may be behavioural because he has a 10 month old brother and since he is crawling around, DD has become v clingy and acting more like a baby (using baby talk etc)

when I do get him to sit on toilet and “have a try” he can push one out most of the time. If he has no clothes on and there’s a potty in the room he will take himself for a poo.

Any advice on how to get him to speak up and tell me when he needs to go?

It can be difficult, especially as you say that he's probably having a bit of a regression due to DC2.

If he does poo on the potty do you go really overboard with the praise? We found that helped.

If he's having trouble telling you when he needs to go, how's his Speech & Language normally?

It took months after him being dry to convince my DS to poo on the toilet.

Eventually, we promised him goldfish (like peppa pig's) if he pooed on the toilet from then on.

Does he have a 'regular' time he goes? If he's a morning / afternoon / evening pooer for the time being I would be getting him to sit and have a try and roughly his normal time, especially if after a meal.. Then reward with stickers (even a chocolate button!). Eventually he'll get into the habit of going and start telling you. It's probably because he doesn't really want to go through the effort of going, he likely hangs on until the last minute and then it's too late.

Thanks all- update: we now have a penny jar where he can earn pennies whenever he tells us he needs to go and it seems to be working. Occasionally I will rattle the jar and pretend to look at the pennies when I know he will need to go and it’s like a reminder without having to directly speak to him. He then will say he needs the toilet. So far he is asking to go when we are at home now. Next step is to get him asking when we are out and about! Thanks!!