Family death

[Bluey2023]

Hi,
Was wondering if anyone had any links or good book ideas. Both myself and my partners grandparents have died in the last 2 months. My 5 year old knew them but did not have a close relationship. We have tried to explain in a child friendly way. She has been fine, will on occasion ask a question but has not been upset until tonight. She became upset tonight, saying she doesn't want me to die. Does anyone have any ideas to support her understanding and reassure her? Tia

I don't know if any age appropriate books, it's been a while since my DC were that age.

Just wanted to say that she's reacting pretty normally and I'm so sorry that you've had these deaths so close together

Michael risen’s ‘sad book’ is about grief, and has some lovely insight.
however, it sounds like it’s more the concept of mortality that has upset her- which is a developmental ‘thing’ that you probably need to ride through. Some honest conversations about you don’t want to die either, and how old the grandparents were compared to how old you are. Lots of hugs and love, and reassurance.

I think rather than a book, explain to her that when people get very old, they die. It is the natural cycle of life.

Point out that if no-one died, it would be standing room only. That you have no intention of dying & she doesn't need to worry about it for another 60 or 70 years, which to a small child is time beyond imagination, and she'll be an old lady by then too.

Then a big hug and reassurance.

I always talked about holding memories dear to us and how I am the person I am because of what my father, for example, taught me and showed me. The Paper Dolls by Julia Donaldson is a good book for younger children.

Thank you for your replies. I have explained that this is something that happens to everyone and that Gran and Nan were a lot older. She just seemed stuck on me dying and not wanting me to go first. I don't think it's helped that it's been my mother's mother and his fathers mother. It was quite upsetting. Thank you everyone

My 5 year old is the same
We lost my nana on 3rd June this year and now she keeps asking when will me and her daddy go to heaven and she doesn't want it to be yet
And it breaks my heart hearing her say it but I try to explain me and daddy won't be going to heaven yet we are going to try our very best to make sure it's not for a while yet and explaining everyone dies