3 month breastfed baby still so difficult (19 month sister doesn't help)

[climbershell]

Baby is 14 weeks old. Has reflux. Medication has improved this greatly. She used to have major gas problems, but this has also improved a fair bit, lots less burps and sick. Dhe's never comfort nursed, which is also mentally hard to take, should be magic boobs again. She feeds 7-8 times in 24hr.

She's incredibly difficult to feed (I'm not new to feeding, my 19 month only stopped 4 months before baby was born). Toddler was a breeze (was boob obsessed first 7/8 months).

She wants to switch between boobs several times per feed, gets angry if I don't swap her after 2-5mins. Only feeds again if i keep switching sides. Perhaps she's used to the crazy fast let down and likely over supply I had the first several weeks & wants that back. She ends most feeds v unhappy, sometime burps then is ok, but other times doesn't burp and after crying a few mins is ok. Plus, she cam be happy then I think it's been 2/3 hours or so and she hasn't fed so I offer her boob and that really upsets her.

All of thiis makes feeding her incredible stressful and is making me really really not enjoy breastfeeding at all this time. I keep thinking of switching to bottles during the day (some expressed & some formula), which I know isn't anywhere near as good, will be quite expensive and a lot of faff esp out and about, but she's happier with a bottle of expressed milk (partner gives every now and then) than straight from source!

Also, today she's just been really irrirating me like crazy. She's so difficult to get to sleep, even following her wake windows. Usually only in the carrier with movement, occasionally in the car after lots or crying and dummy reinserting, maybe 20-30 in the pram after 30-60 mins of trying and stops as soon as the pram stops. Had extreme colic week 6-12 (2-3hr non stop screaming in thr evenings) that's improved, but if we don't put in the carrier, with white noise and pace around as soon as she grumbles then she'll scream. When she's finally asleep, at least she sleeps ok at night.

I'm going insane today, only happy few mins at a time, if interacting with her then soooo fussy. She's not even in a leap. And sometimes I do wish we'd sticked with one. Tho toddler has some very sweet moments with her already which is lovely

Bottle feed

Sounds tough.

3 months is still quite early days. There are so many things that can make them uncomfortable at that age, and it sounds like you've had a few of them.

If things are much better with bottle feeding, then I'd switch. I'm a keen supporter of breastdfeesing, but you're no rookie and it doesn't sound like it's working well this time. If you're having to switch sides a lot, she'll be getting lots of lactose in the fore-milk and not so much of the fatty hind milk. That can make gas/digestive problems worse - I had that issue with my eldest at this age.

Thank you. I'm a massive supporter of breastfeeding too. Which I'd why this is stressing me out. I wanted her to be ebf 12 months, like my eldest.

In 2 weeks, we're off on a 3 week camper roadtrip around Europe. Bottles will be a right pain there. I think, what I'll do is keep bbreastfeeding until after that trip, and if things haven't Improved do combi. Still breastfeed at night & first thing, so much easier than bottles, plus she is usually much easier to feed then. She'll be 5.5 months then...

Can you ask your HV to refer to infant feeding team? If you have a local specialist they can help. Might be worth looking up breast compressions, they might keep her on the first breast a bit longer.

https://georgiab.substack.com/p/good-mother

Sounds to me like she is frustrated by having to work for food. So once your immediate letdown is gone she gets frustrated and is why she keeps wanting to swap boob - ie in hope of fast flow again. This also won't be helping her gas and reflux as she'll be taking in more and more air hopping on and off the boob. btw my only qualifications are breasting 9 children but i've experienced quite a bit by doing that! Breast compressions may help.

Does she have dry skin?

No dry skin. Why do you ask?

Hmm maybe. Tho I have oversupply so sometimes still end up spraying her part way through a feed, not as often anymore so I'd imagine it's at a decent speed for a while?

Can you see a lactation consultant? Does she have a clicky latch? Blister on her lip?

A nipple shield might help if she finds a bottle easier but it would be better to see someone who can help.

Get a bottle and formula. Best decision I ever made! Life is too short!

Sounds like my DC. Each time this happened it was caused by one of the following:

Thrush, wind making it painful for her to be reclined (try the koala hold or feeding stood up with wiggles and bumps), cows milk allergy, mild tongue-tie.

Seeing a lactation consultant saved breastfeeding for me.

OP, do we have the same 14w old babies?

My second EBF journey also and it makes me so sad that this one doesn't seem to take comfort from nursing despite our challenges- even when having their jabs! It's purely business transaction "mummy, I'll make you more comfy if your nourish me with nutrients, nothing more please and absolutely don't attempt to feed me sleep. Now the other one, nope back again, and again, NOW" etc etc. My eldest still isn't ready to give up nursing yet at 2y9m (I am however, for that one).

I have thought about switching to formula or.bottles but it makes me feel guilty that I'd have fed one child through infancy but not the other.

Not sure where the bottles are a faff when out and about has come from on MN - everyone is different of course, but I've BF and botte fed on the move and bottle is so much easier. For your trip you could use readymade when out, powder when you have access to water boiling facilities. But it sounds like you want to solve breastfeeding so I'd exhaust all the options there first.

I hope you can find a solution that works for you, it's such a journey whether it's your first or your tenth! Xx

Hi @climbershell- reading your post and I could’ve written exactly the same story. Smooth sailing first time round but this baby is completely different. Did BF ever improve for you?