10 week old doesn't make eye contact or smile at me yet :(

[AJOC]

Hi everyone,

First time posting here so I hope I don't ramble lol!

My beautiful baby boy was born exactly 4 weeks early by emergency c section. Due to some pretty scary complications, I had to be put to sleep and he was taken out very quickly! Amazingly, he was born perfectly. He weighed 5lb 4oz and from the best of my knowledge, hadn't really been affected by any of the trauma!

My concern is that he is now 10 weeks and he isn't really making eye contact with me or DH. He also isn't really smiling yet either (I think we caught a glimps of a smile the other day but he was then sick). He tracks objects and people now and again but not always. He sleeps an awful lot, generally only waking to be fed. He is very gassy and squirmy after being fed too!

I just feel really overwhelmed with worry all of the time! It has been a totally different experience to when I had DD. She was born at 42 weeks and was smiling, cooing and so alert by 4 weeks old. I am trying really hard not to compare as I know every baby is different and the circumstances are very different with both of my babies but I can't shift this horrible, nagging feeling that there might be something wrong with my beautiful little guy!

I guess I'm looking for reassurance from other Mums that their babies were also a little late to meet milestones but got there eventually!

I did say I would try not to ramble!

Thank you for reading!

His adjusted age is 6 weeks if he was born early?? If so then you’re still in the normal range for these milestones. As you know at this age a week is a long time so you could be getting loads of smiles in a couple days.

He was born early . You need to take that into consideration especially when comparing him to your daughter who was born later . Give it a few more weeks and try not to worry

If he was 4 weeks early then developmentally is he around 6 weeks which is quite normal for social smiling. If you’re worried speak to the HV but I bet he does it soon.

Thank you all for your replies!

Yes, you're right! I do need to try and bear in mind his adjusted age! I've spoken to the HV today and she has said exactly the same! Thank you for helping me :) I'll look forward to those first gummy grins!

Just an update and a thank you to those who messaged reassuring messages of support!

Little man is 12 weeks tomorrow. He is now smiling 😁 it isn't consistent and my, do I have to work for them but I am definitely seeing those gummy grins I've longed for! He is starting to look at me and little more too now, I guess he doesn't find my face as interesting as my daughter did but its an improvement 😅

Hi AJOC, hope you and your little man are doing well! I’m having some of the same concerns about my LO who was also four weeks early and I’m getting very worried. How has he been? Have you noticed his eye contact improving at all?

Hi NOL2023,

Congratulations on your little one :)

Of course I'm happy to update!

He is 7 months old tomorrow (so still technically 6 months).

He now gives amazing eye contact and is honestly the smiliest, happiest little boy! He giggles, touches our faces, looks for us when we leave the room etc! Everyone comments on how reactive and engaged he is!

He is rolling both ways, learning to sit independently and is weaning (loving his finger foods). For a little while, I was worried about how quiet he was (he didn't babble nearly as much as DD) however, recently, that has really picked up too! He makes consonant and vowel sounds such as dadadada, blows raspberries and babbles away to himself

He definitely took his time! He clearly needed the extra sleep and became easily overwhelmed by the big wide world! But he is reaching all milestones in his own time and is truly a delight!

Please don't worry about your little one! I know it's so much easier said than done but looking back, I wasted so much time with worry!
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas

My little one didn't smile or make eye contact until about 10-12weeks, due to them not putting on weight. Born after term.

They are now, recently turned, 1 and sooooo much smilier than my baby who smiled at 6 weeks old! I was also worried! But they are doing amazingly ❤️

My daughter was only 2 weeks early so within normal term but she didn't smile or respond to sounds until 19 weeks after her reflux was adequately treated and I went dairy free for her allergies. The thought at the time was that as she was so unhappy she just couldn't get interested with the world around her. It took 3 days for us to see a difference and in two weeks she went from scoring very poorly on her 4 month assessment to score perfectly average on her 5 month assessment. There are lots of relatively benign things that can unsettle them enough to be slightly slow to engage with the world.

If worried it doesn't hurt to give your HV a ring to see where they are on the scale of where they should br

AJOC truly thank you so much for your response, you have given me some much needed hope back. I am so delighted to hear he is doing so well. He sounds like an absolute sweetheart!

Thank you to other posters also :)

Hope you have a very Happy Christmas.

What a lovely update!