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Original poster

Birthday Party etiquette

14 replies

CCW86 · 31/07/2023 15:07

I am planning my DS 4th bday party, but since it’s the first proper kids party that I have planned, or even been to, I have some questions.

I have booked as farm/soft play place and will be covering all costs for guests

How big should the cake be? Enough to feed the kids on the day? Enough to feed the kids and the adults that will be attending? Or enough the feed the kids and adults in the day, plus a slice to take home?

The party place provides a hot lunch, and has ice cream as a dessert as part of the menu. But I was thinking do they really need the ice cream in addition to the cake that will be served? Seems a bit much on the pudding front, although I’m sure my DS would gobble it up. I’d just have to handle the sugar rush that will no don’t follow

I’m such an over planner but feel completely clueless and out of my depth. Just want to make it special for DS as it will be his first proper party

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HarrietStyles · 31/07/2023 15:10

Ive been attending kids parties for 20 years and I’d say the majority don’t serve cake at the party. Serve the ice cream for desert, sing happy birthday with the cake, then it is cut up, wrapped in napkins and each child gets a slice in their party bag. I usually buy a cake big enough for one slice for each child, plus a bit left over for us to take home for the family.

dementedpixie · 31/07/2023 15:11

I wouldn't serve the cake for eating and would send the kids home with a slice instead. Have the cake for doing candles if the venue allows but don't eat it there.

Growlybear83 · 31/07/2023 15:11

I don't know if times have changed but with every birthday party my daughter ever attended, the cake was brought in at the end of the meal for the candles to be blown out, and a piece was put in each party bag. I can't think of a party where a piece of cake was served as part of the meal. So I would think you only need a cake that's large enough for each child to take a piece home, not for adults.

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cocksstrideintheevening · 31/07/2023 15:14

Send a piece of cake home in the party bag.

Are parents allowed to stay, do they have to pay entrance to stay?

mummymummymummummum · 31/07/2023 15:15

Don’t feed them cake at the party - pop a piece in a party bag.

The cake used to sing happy birthday/blow out candles doesn’t have to be the same cake that’s given to the children. We’ve had cup cakes/mini cakes/completely different (probably cheaper/more basic/etc) cake.

MaggieFS · 31/07/2023 15:15

HarrietStyles · 31/07/2023 15:10

Ive been attending kids parties for 20 years and I’d say the majority don’t serve cake at the party. Serve the ice cream for desert, sing happy birthday with the cake, then it is cut up, wrapped in napkins and each child gets a slice in their party bag. I usually buy a cake big enough for one slice for each child, plus a bit left over for us to take home for the family.

Exactly the same as this is at pretty much every party I've been to.

Original poster
CCW86 · 31/07/2023 15:16

Thank you. I remember being sent home with a slice in a party bag, and vaguely remember having it at the party too. But that being said, this was many moons ago and I’m sure all we ate was sugar… that and cheese and pineapple on sticks!

The venue are happy with us being our own cake, so will definitely do that as DS will be so excited to blow out the candles. At the last party he attended with DH there’s a vid of him trying to blow the candle out. It was cute for me, although probably wouldn’t have been so cute if he had actually managed to blow it out before the birthday boy! DH said that cake was eaten on site for that party, but I don’t think they had another dessert as part of the meal

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h3ll0o · 31/07/2023 15:17

We went to a party recently where they’d purchased a tiny supermarket cake for singing happy birthday. The children were then given a chocolate muffin in a display case to take home. This worked well as it avoided cutting the cake at the party.

I’m doing something similar for my daughters 4th but instead of a muffin I’m handing out bags of chocolate sweets.

Original poster
CCW86 · 31/07/2023 15:18

Yes parents are allowed to stay. Each child I pay for comes with a free adult included in the price. And since the majority of the kids will be younger, I imagine everyone will have at least one grown up looking after them

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CCW86 · 31/07/2023 15:35

This is a nice idea. And certainly saves on having to cut and bag the slices. The planner in me loves this!!
i enjoy baking so maybe I can make a ‘giant’ cupcake that we can sing H.bday to, and then make standard cupcakes in a similar design for them to take home and have the bags all packed and sorted.

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Mummy08m · 31/07/2023 15:41

Maybe it's regional (or to do with the age of child?) because at all of the parties dd has been invited to, the cake has been served towards the end of the party, each kid and parent eats a slice on a plate, and then loot bags to take home but without cake in. I think I prefer this too because who wants squashed cake in a bag...? Interesting to know most on here don't do it this way though. I'm planning dd's birthday party next month, also at a soft play, and I think I'll do it this way.

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CCW86 · 31/07/2023 16:23

Mummy08m · 31/07/2023 15:41

Maybe it's regional (or to do with the age of child?) because at all of the parties dd has been invited to, the cake has been served towards the end of the party, each kid and parent eats a slice on a plate, and then loot bags to take home but without cake in. I think I prefer this too because who wants squashed cake in a bag...? Interesting to know most on here don't do it this way though. I'm planning dd's birthday party next month, also at a soft play, and I think I'll do it this way.

This is what I was imagining when I first asked the question. But also remember taking a slice home too

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bakewellbride · 31/07/2023 17:09

I bake a cake then buy extra so that there is enough for all kids and parents to have a slice at the venue and enough for a slice per party bag.

Sadiegirl87 · 31/07/2023 18:20

Mummy08m · 31/07/2023 15:41

Maybe it's regional (or to do with the age of child?) because at all of the parties dd has been invited to, the cake has been served towards the end of the party, each kid and parent eats a slice on a plate, and then loot bags to take home but without cake in. I think I prefer this too because who wants squashed cake in a bag...? Interesting to know most on here don't do it this way though. I'm planning dd's birthday party next month, also at a soft play, and I think I'll do it this way.

This is what we did at our DCs party, all kids were excited to eat the cake after singing happy birthday so we served all the kids and offered adults a slice, some took a bit some didn't. We had party bags given out at end with some treats in and I didn't want cake to crumble inside.
I'd say either option is fine though but factor in time to slice and kids to eat the cake as our Venue Had a party after us so we had to finish on time.

We got a plain cake from a bakery big enough to serve everyone and bought cake toppers off Amazon to decorate it

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