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Parenting

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Original poster

Feel so guilty about my kids' lives

8 replies

sarahvbmummy · 31/07/2023 11:24

I love my two boys so much but I feel constantly guilty about not being able to give them a better life due to having a low income and struggling with mental health issues. We can afford the basics but every day is a struggle financially and they are often bored because we can't afford to do things. I'm not so worried about not being able to buy them 'things' - it's more about not being able to afford to give them experiences. It costs so much to do anything fun with kids nowadays, I honestly don't understand how other parents can afford all the things they do with their kids. Just putting fuel in the car to go to a park or something is difficult. I worry my boys are not having a memorable childhood 😞. Anyone else in the same boat? I'm self-employed and try hard to increase my income but never really get anywhere. What can I do? Their childhood is slipping away.

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Geneticsbunny · 31/07/2023 11:35

All parents feel guilty about not being able to do what they think would be best for their kids. I am sure being better off would make life easier for you in lots of ways but I bet your kids wouldn't notice anywhere near as much as you think they would. Kids like spending time with their parents and doing things with them. Going for walks, making dens, home made playdough, going to the library, baking, playing a board game, make a film using phones, watch a movie on TV. All relatively cheap or free and all a brilliant way of spending time with kids and showing them you love them.

DNLove · 31/07/2023 11:49

As previous poster said your time is what kids want. Try being silly with them, dance in fountains, have a water fight, play board games!/do jigsaws together (second hand shop) , make parachutes with plastic bags and a plastic soldier/doll and throw them out upstairs window or off somewhere high. Go vintage clothes hunting in second hand shops. Go for a walk in dark to see the stars. Build a den in the woods with sticks.
These are the things they remember, the laughter, the unusual places.
Even with a few bob to spare my kids still get bored, it's good for them.

DNLove · 31/07/2023 11:51

Make up a scavenger hunt for them to do around town. Download pokemon go and see how many pokemon you can catch in the holidays.

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BlueChampagne · 31/07/2023 13:23

Totally agree with spending time rather than money, doing the silly things (and taking photos). How old are they? Have great memories of camps in the garden in the 70s.

LeopardCat · 31/07/2023 14:45

I grew up with no money at all, cramped in a tiny flat with mum, brother and grandad. I had a great childhood and have many fond memories. We read the same books and talked about them, played cards, went on many walks and talked-talked-talked, took a bus sometimes somewhere like a city or seaside. I had friends who were much better off financially and nowhere near as happy. I particularly remember one friend frequently calling me up in tears because she was yet again home all alone with both parents working through another weekend.
I was so very loved, no money in the world could have replaced that.
I am sure that your kids feel loved too and are making the best memories with their amazing mum

itsmyp4rty · 31/07/2023 20:06

We play a lot of games bought secondhand. Card games like Uno, Shithead/Shed, Exploding kittens, Twenty one. Also read to them, go to the library and all choose some books if you can. Play games in the woods or at the park, have treasure hunts with clues. We never went anywhere as kids because my dad worked all hours for his business and my mum didn't drive, we had one UK based holiday with family every couple of years. Mum did so much with us though that didn't really cost anything.

TinyTeacher · 31/07/2023 20:26

What did of area do you live? I appreciate if very rural it is hard to get to things.

You'd be amazed how much is available for free if you know where to look. How old are your boys?

GrethaGoat · 31/07/2023 20:29

I grew up with parents with little money to do things, but plenty of time for us children. I had a wonderful childhood. There are lots of things you can do for free too.
I have been able to pay for lots of experiences, but have worked hard to earn the money, so not really had the time to spend. My children have had plenty of experiences and travelled a lot to exciting places, but they have grown up with parents who worked long hours and had little time for them.

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