Delay school start this year

[Junebuggirl]

Hi,

I have a lovely almost 4 year old due to start school this September, place has been confirmed etc. I was talking to another parent whose child is the same age and they are delaying school start. Their child has no development issues she just said they'll do better being the oldest not youngest.
I've literally never heard of a child not starting school unless there was a real need is this something a lot of people do now?
Starting to feel worried now as potentially my child could be with children who delayed from the previous year and could be nearly 16 months older. It just doesn't feel right and I feel I could be letting my child down or setting them up for a tough journey. Is this the norm or exception? Should I seriously consider delaying my DC starting school for another year so they aren't at a disadvantage?

Very much child dependent I think. Mine is an early September baby, if he was born a few days earlier he could be starting school this September. He would definitely be disadvantaged by this, when I compare how he is to my older children when they started school I can see a huge difference. If he had been an August baby I would have definitely deferred him.

If it hadn't occurred to you until now I would suggest there is probably no reason to worry?! Some people do defer but it's not the norm. As pp said, it's very individual and depends on the child. There are potential issues with delaying as they can be so much more advanced than most of the rest of their cohort, boredom etc. We have an august born and have no intention of deferring.

It's a personal choice. Summer born children (on average) do slightly less well on some measures e.g. sport. It makes sense - they are smaller, so get less picks for things, so less confident and they don't necessarily catch up.

I'm saying that as an August child - I was totally fine academically. I suppose I am pretty crap at sport though! I've never considered that a disadvantage to me though.

As a teacher, sometimes I can spot an August-born kid even in secondary school. But often not.

Would your child be better off being in school and learning routines and group dynamics? Or do you genuinely feel they aren't ready and their confidence will suffer. Different children have different needs.

My sons birthday is 31st august, couldn't be any later. I will judge it in the last 6 months before he can go. However nursery told me if the school allows he can part time, as school isn't compulsory at this age. So I might consider that. However deferring school doesn't necessarily mean starting a year later in reception, it means missing reception.

I think going into an already formed class with friendship groups and a year of school life under their belt would've harder than starting a big young even if not ready.

Only you know for sure the best thing.

My son did have a deferred school place, his birthday is late July. To do this you would have to apply to admissions within your local council to defer your child's place and also apply for their place at the same time or at least that's what the process was for us. You can find out lots of info regarding this on the admissions page witjkn the council website. My son had a big speech delay and we had a detailed letter from his nursery to support the application to defer. I will say that although it definitely was 100% the right decision for my son, that it doesn't come without complications. We found that the teachers in the school that my son first attended were not completely clear on delayed starts and had said that at some point he would have to rejoin the class in his age group. When we moved house and schools the teacher there said almost exactly the same. I had to speak to the head of admissions and ask them to send me an email where it states that my son can remain outside of their school year group that is to remain in the school year they have been educated so far. I can imagine that going forward into secondary school and further education there are going to be issues so think carefully if this is something that is necessary for you.

You’ve been misinformed here. It is absolutely possible to defer the start of summer born children so they join a reception class a year later. No one has to go straight into y1.

I think it’s important to consider the implications for whole of your child’s education rather than just the first year or two. Of the two families I know who’ve deferred, one is flying and is settled in the younger age group but the other one sticks out like a sore thumb and has had no end of difficulties, parents are constantly at the school asking for extension work as dc is bored. School have kind of shrugged it off and said they are focussing on the children who need to catch up from covid etc. There’s been a fair bit of parent gossip/resentment too when older dc does well/wins sports day races etc. Its a tough one to call but you know your child best.

No, it isn't the norm. It is very much the exception.
As a pp said, if this is the first time you have even considered it, then there is no reason to consider it.
In any year group, someone has to be the youngest, and the school staff are aware of that. Not that being the youngest means the least mature - not by a long chalk.

Thank you everyone who has taken the time to respond. Still feel very anxious about it all. I can understand why people need to hold back a child if there are some issues with their development or abilities but I thought it was a very small minority of children. Didn't realise it was such a common thing to delay starting as it's something I've never heard anyone do. I would feel quite resentful if my child was in a class and with one who had delayed and was a good 14-16 months older and winning prizes etc as it doesn't seem right on the system

I am not in the UK. My June born daughter started school at 5 and 3 months. It was absolutely the best thing for her. She could have started a year earlier but we decided that she would benefit from another year at home. There was no pressure for her to start - parental choice was paramount.

It's really not that common, just mumsnet makes it feel like it is. Honestly don't worry. You know your child and if it hadn't crossed your mind I'd say that shows you have no reason to be concerned.

It’s increasingly common. Statically summer born child who start school at just turned 4 are much more likely to be diagnosed with SEN and achieve less well in school right but to GCSE level. I’m not aware of any research comparing educational achievement beyond GCSE.

It’s not about a system. It’s about what it right for individual children who when they later apply to uni and for jobs will be competing against people of all ages.

We deferred our August born DD our situation was different as we weren’t living in the uk and moved back weeks before she was due to start Yr1. We were living in a country were children didn’t start school until age 6 so she had no early years foundation prep like pre school here. We had to apply to defer her for her to go into reception not just automatically be placed in year 1.

We will have to apply to defer her again when it comes to high school. Our alternative is to see if we can move her up a year in primary school. Luckily it’s a small school with mixed classes so this is possible if we go down this route.

We only left the UK during lockdown, prior to this she was in nursery, had we stayed I don’t think we would have deferred her as she was doing ok until we left. We we moved we couldn’t get the time in childcare as places were limited and as I said they didn’t prep young children for school until after they turned 5.

Plenty of August born children do well, one of my older DDs friends is August born but you couldn’t tell, she aces things at school, same with my friends DD she got all 8 &9s in her GCSEs.

If your wanting to officially defer and not just keep your DC home until age 5 you need to reach out to the LA asap.

@5childrenand sorry but you've been misinformed. It's a parents right to delay entry until compulsory school age but schools do not have to allow then to start in reception and can insist they go straight into year 1.

Some schools do this op so worth checking.

Most schools will allow children to start a year later in reception as that's definitely in their best interests. But definitely worth checking. It can also cause problems with secondary's etc.

I'm on a school admissions panel so understands how it works.

My dd is also late summer born. She started school at just turned 4. She's done fine despite being the smallest

Even if they weren't in a class with a child who had had a delayed start they could still be in a class with a child who was 12 months older and winning prizes etc. To be honest I wouldn't be focused on winning things, I'd mainly think about do I think my child will thrive in this environment, I'm not so bothered about how everyone else is doing in the class I just want what is best for my child.

Being far ahead of your classmates can be hugely damaging. It is a burden faced by naturally gifted students, I never understand why parents intentionally try to put their children in that position.

Not true, unless you have officially been approved to defer your child they will automatically be placed into their age related cohort. Obviously LAs rules vary from LA to LA and some are easier to defer than others. If you choose to just keep your child home till age 5 then you will have to find a place through the school and the child would be placed in YR1. If you want them to be placed in reception you have to apply through the LA who will determine if your child qualifies for the new reception intake.

I work in a really big primary school (600+ children). The only children out of year group have significant special needs. Really not common in my county

Don’t know anyone who deferred their DC. DT’s - July birthday. Started school at 4 years two months. No academic or physical issues. Always high achieving in exams, music and sports.

Schools can put deferred children straight into year 1 but they need to argue that would be in the child’s best interest and therefore would have to say that their reception year is pointless and children don’t learn anything in it.

It's also a real pain when they go to secondary school and I have known children leave a year early as they can leave as soon as they are of school leaving age. Really sad when this happens.
I would only defer a child if no choice. Most schools look after children and you'll be amazed how they quickly catch up!

As a teacher I can honestly say that starting later is better. It’s not just starting school that has to be considered, it’s all stages throughout. Are they mature enough to sit for extended periods and do work? Have they had enough time to explore through play? I’ve noticed often 4/5 years into school when all the bitchy bickering starts that these are the children who find it the hardest. At high school when they are having to decide what subjects or job they want. Friends starting to drive or go clubbing and they miss out.

All this said and despite a promise I made myself that no child of mine would go to school at 4 I did just that. Another year at nursery was just not a good idea for them but unfortunately covid hit and took away most of their first year and the end of nursery. I wish I had a crystal ball as had I known that I would have stuck to my guns!

IRL i really dont think its that common or there would be no August/july kids in school.

Our DS is an August baby, and a tiny one at that. I had no reason to hold him back, although i would have loved another year at home with him, he had outgrown nursery and was ready for the next chapter.

I looked at him half way through reception and just couldn't imagine him still being in nursery, that would have been doing him a disservice.

Dont let other people cloud your judgment. You know what's best for your child.

I kept my child back and he went to school a few weeks after he turned 5 instead of a few weeks after turning 4.

From the minute I knew I was having an August baby I knew I would delay his start
to school. There is so much research out there about how starting school at just turned four can have negative impacts on both a child’s academic ability as well as their social skills and emotions and that is what was at the root of our decision.

I approached three school about delaying his start until he was 5 and they were all fine with it and happy for him to start in reception.

Yes it is up to the school as to whether the child can start at reception or whether they will go straight to year 1, but they have to make their decision based on the best interests of the child, and seeing how vital the reception years are when it comes to preparing a child for formal education, a school would have difficulty saying it is in a child’s best interests to miss it.

People seem to assume and claim that the delayed children are “miles older” than the rest of the class and so it’s not fair, but that really, really isn’t the case.

My son is the oldest in the class by about 10 days, and then another four children turned 5 within a month of my son having turned 5.

We're in Scotland and it is very common here to delay primary school. My son was going so well at nursery we decided another year playing and having fun was a much better proposition. It also means that should he go to university he'll be 18 and not 17 as happens to a lot of kids in the Scottish higher ed system. I've never regretted the choice.