Hi,
help and advice needed please. I am mum to a beautiful 5 year old dd and gave birth to my equally beautiful DS 8 weeks ago.
i had PND and anxiety after my daughter hence the 5 year age gap and was sure I wouldn’t get it this time round. Unfortunately , I actually think it is worse this time round. I am going through the motions for the sake of my daughter but generally feel no bond whatsoever with my son, am very down and finding life v hard. My son is very unhappy l, cries at everything, will not go down to sleep for naps, hates his car seat and is generally a very difficult baby. This has at least in part contributed to my PND. My husband is v supportive and we have agreed I will see the gp this week for tablets and therapy which I have previously been very resistant to taking, preferring to just get through it with talking and support.
my PND is very much linked to baby milestones and worrying whether my babies are ok or not. Currently I am very concerned that my DS still isn’t smiling. Other people tell me he is but I can’t see it. They say it when he does a half lip curl but to me it isn’t a smile as such, just a curl of the mouth. His eye contact is ok, but he mostly isn’t interested in looking at people and obviously prople comment on this and the fact he doesn’t smile at them when they try to engage with him. Never in a horrible way, but it does increase my anxiety around it all.
i am also convinced that the constant crying must be caused by something. Everyone says colic but I’m not sure. I have thought silent reflux, sensory issues, pain in the tummy from wind etc but I honestly have no clue and nothing seems to help. I am worried that we are just letting him get on with it as everyone says improvement should come by 12 weeks but I can’t see it. If it is silent reflux for example, would that mean that he was less engaged with us due to pain? He spends most of his time straining, screams after a feed, and is generally very uncomfortable all the time. Gp and HV say he will grow out of it but I am convinced there is something that we should be getting him help for.
sorry for the long rambly post, I guess I just wanted to ask whether my PND could be stopping me seeing my sons progress and catastrophising about possible problems that aren’t there or should I trust my instincts and get him back to the dr. They said to come back at 10 weeks if he wasn’t smiling by then and but me and my husband disagree as to whether he is or not so not sure whether I should take him. I presume they wouldn’t do anything yet about the non smiling thing, just say wait longer?
thsnks for reading, any advice appreciated