Constant sibling arguing - summer holiday hell

[Anothernamethesamegame]

Well ‘hell’ is probably too strong a word. Summer holidays have been miserable so far though. 7 and 9 yr old just juggling at each other constantly and sporadically erupting into screaming and shouting. All this with a side of the 9 year old struggling from what seems to be anxiety or something like mild depression/low mood. Husband is trying his best but is often grumpy in response and escalate situations by trying to be “hard line”but actually upping the ante.

im the one that has to smooth things overs, be positive, try to suggest things to snap everyone out of their moods…..and white frankly after a week of it I’m fed up and done. Feel like just leaving them to it and staying in my bedroom to read a book.

Stay in your room and read your book?

It may be good for them to work things out for themselves a bit. Nobody I born knowing how to negotiate/compromise. Modelling and guiding is great, but they won't actually kill each other if you leave it to them for a bit.

My DSis and I used to argue horifically. We get on well enough as adults. Our parents did step in if things were getting really bad, but honestly no amount of smoothing over was going to have us getting along smoothly. We learned to give each other space.

Have some time to yourself to recover. Then maybe have some 1:1 time with the older one and see if you can get to the bottom of the anxiety. I'm sure you've come across the idea that pre-teens/teens find it hard to tell you their feelings if they feel under scrutiny, but find ot easierif you're doing something e.g. they'll often open up more on a car drive to somewhere where you are looking at the road rather than them, but struggle to sit on a sofa and look you in the eye while they tell you what's bothering them. You may have to give them several opportunitiesvefore you get any progress though