Tips on curbing the habit of breastfeeding to sleep?

[SpringTime2023]

Hello,

My 12 week old DC can fall asleep for naps during the day without breastfeeding immediately before, however I've inunvertantly created a habit of needing the boob for the bedtime sleep.

I tried to feed and then read a quick book beforehand to create a 'gap', but each time I've tried this, they've just not settled until I give in and offer boob. And then they're asleep. Obviously fine for now, but not good in future if someone else needs to help settle them.

Admittedly I have tried this 4/5 times and I try to resettle for 5/10 mins and give in - do I just need to persevere more?

Thanks

No. You haven't even reached 4 month sleep regression yet, so honestly, just keep doing what gets them to sleep quickest. The only reason to change the way you get your baby to sleep is if it's not working for you or them.

Baby will behave completely differently for someone else than for you, you smell like milk and they know so don't worry too much.

I just fed to sleep til it stopped at around 10 months. Just always wanted the easy option! Some of my friends tried to 'break the habit' for months and it just added loads of stress. Try not to worry about it and do what you like.

Okay, thanks all. Yes, just been doing what's working well so far...aware that further developmental stuff to come so I could take the pressure off for the mo!

She's still so little. I waited until after the 4 month regression then she just did it- I didn't even try. She'd finish her breastfeed and jd put her into bed. She's 20 months now and just plays around abjt and falls asleep. Been doing jr since around 5 months

Mines 3 soon and I still feed her to sleep. It’s works not every time anymore unfortunately. Just roll with the easy option

They’re 12 weeks, it’s absolutely normal for your baby to feed to sleep. I fed my now 2 year old to sleep most of her life and my husband can put her to sleep fine. The sleep hormone in your milk is highest at night too - your milk is designed to help baby sleep! Unless you really want to - don’t worry, it’s not a bad habit and it’s absolutely normal!

Whatever gets the most sleep for the most number of people was always my motto!
I didn't think of it as a habit that needed to be broken. I thought of it as a biological need I was meeting. They really are just little animals.

She’s 12 weeks! Do whatever is easiest!

it won’t continue for ever, so don’t worry about “habits” or rods and backs. Everything is a phase and they will grow out of it!

you’ll spend more time and stress fighting it than just doing it. I was the same with night feeds, people were saying I should give water, let them cry etc. sod that. 10 mins feeding and all back to sleep was a much better option than nights of no sleep trying to break the habit.

go with the flow and do what you and your baby need.

12 weeks is tiny. And feeding to sleep was designed by nature to give mums an easy way to get the little sods to sleep easily. Yes, it means at this age she’s dependent on you, but it doesn’t last forever and babies are born still thinking they’re part of their mother. Just enjoy it - it goes in a flash, it’s not creating long-term issues and it works for both of you.

Thanks everyone for the reassurance :)

Same here for my almost 3yo. Sometimes feed to sleep, sometimes feed then falls asleep independently, sometimes just falls asleep independently. Falls asleep for the (occasional) babysitter but not for Daddy 🥴

Feeding to sleep is natural, not a bad habit at all!

If it’s not a problem for you feeding baby to sleep is completely normal and natural for baby. Breastmilk has something in it that helps baby to sleep at night (and mum). Honestly bin the books that say it is a bad habit. Obviously if it is a problem for you and you don’t wish to do it that is completely fine and understandable (Ps you’ll have to ask someone else for tips to stop bF to sleep if this is the case as I still do it with my 8 month old). Xx

I fed to sleep until they stopped BF (aged 18 months). It's easier, why make life hard?

That said, I still cuddle my 9 year old to sleep.

As others have said, I would definitely continue feeding a 12 week old to sleep proving that you are enjoying it. I really enjoyed the cuddles and feeding in the evening and it was also easiest for everyone. I am currently feeding my 9 month old to sleep as I type. However, if you are not then I appreciate someone telling you just to enjoy it would be very irritating so ignore this message!

I'd carry on feeding to sleep personally. I did with my 3 till just after 2 years and will for DC4 probably too.

Alternatively you could use a dummy. With my twins dummies were enormously helpful, and meant someone else could settle them - I had to leave one twin at home with my DMum while I was in hospital with the other just before they were a year old. Although I'd always fed him to sleep he took a bottle and dummy occasionally so settled perfectly well for my mum, no issue at all. Flexibility can ve useful.

Of course, you don't have to feed to sleep if you don't want to. But most other methods take longer at this age. Plenty of time for independent sleep when they are older as far as I'm concerned. I love sleepy baby snuggles!

At 12 weeks old I would keep feeding to sleep! Definitely that is what is the natural thing to do - it’s meant to help them fall asleep. Fed mine to sleep until around 15-16 months and then he naturally would sometimes still be awake and go into his cot awake and then I stopped breastfeeding completely at 18 months.

I set the goal to stop feeding to sleep when there are teeth to reduce decay. So that was around 4m-6m.

I believe that breastmilk is not a cause of dental decay, unlike formula. Happy to be proven wrong of course, but this is what my HV told me and a quick Google suggests it’s correct.

DD is 4 months old and breastfed. Usually I have to feed to sleep however the last couple of days she refuses to be fed to sleep and prefers to be on my shoulder with a gentle bounce. I think it’s something they naturally grow out of, I wouldn’t stress!