Is it ok for a 16 month old to hardly nap?

[Skyupsky]

Hello,

my daughter has always been a terrible sleeper. She was still waking up every 3 hours at 11 months and wouldn’t go back to sleep unless she had a bottle. She’s never taken a dummy and I think she uses milk instead. I have a strict bedtime routine - bath, stories, bed (with a bottle). This is around 7pm and she usually still wakes at 10 (another bottle) and sometimes again at 4!! (Another bottle). I know it’s terrible to keep giving her milk but literally nothing else works - rocking, Patting her back, singing, we have tried it all! She wakes up for the day around 7am.

During the day she usually naps for about 90 minutes (max) around 12ish. But I’ve noticed on the odd occasion that she doesn’t nap, and has a later bedtime (8pm)she sleeps through much better.

Is it awful if she doesn’t nap during the day? Is it really that bad for her development to be awake for 12 hours during the day and then sleep for 12?

any advice? I know I need to cut out the milk but it’s so hard when working full time to break this habit. :( Health visitor was not very helpful and said she will naturally reduce her milk intake but she is literally still going through 12oz a night plus 5oz during the day to get her to nap.

please help :(

I also forgot to add when she wakes up she is screaming awfully and standing in her crib - ignoring her is not an option as she gets so distressed she makes herself sick.

Wow must be so difficult with night wakings like that still.

What is she eating during the day?

My DS2 stopped napping completely at 18 months but slept through 8-5am from then. My DS2 napped but woke 3x a night until he was 3. 🤷‍♀️ I don’t have the answers but do what works best for you!

My daughter gave up naps very early, she just didn't want/need the naps. I just went with it, what can you do if they won't sleep? she grew up fine, although she is a night bird as an adult. I remember other mums being critical but it is what it is. She wasn't cranky or anything not napping she was just wide awake and happy.

What is she eating in the day?

You do need to try and break the night feeds, it would probably only be a few bad nights, they adapt so much quicker than we think they will.

Unless there's an issue with calorie intake in the day then she really is waking out of habit rather than hunger, especially as you can identify the times she will wake up! That indicates habit.

I limit my 15m old’s nap to 1 hour 10 minutes otherwise she won’t go to bed or wakes for hours in the night. My older DD was similar. I think a lot of babies don’t need anywhere near the amount of sleep the websites say.

You could be describing my dd at that age. She dropped all naps at nursery from about 12-14m, only having a 20-40min nap on her days off nursery, and then dropped those at about 18m. Nursery tried everything to get her to nap there, including getting her key worker to pretend to co-sleep with her! When she was a newborn she regularly only had 9-10h of sleep in total per 24h, all in 40min-1h blocks. It nearly broke us. And yet her weight, growth, motor skills, development milestones etc etc have all always been totally fine.

As a pp above said, some babies/kids just need way less sleep than others. Don't force it, just follow what your baby seems to need. You'll know everything is fine if the weight, appetite, milestones etc are all fine.

Ps now dd is about to turn 3yo and she "only" wakes up once or twice each night. DH and I are so used to waking up a bazillion times a night that we don't mind once or twice.

I had a solo night in a hotel a couple of months ago for a work trip. I slept through the night. I woke up so disoriented from sleeping through for the first time in years, I thought for a split second I'd been under general anaesthetic again

Ds probably slept/woke similar times at night at that age.. had been down to 1 night waking but went back to 2 after sleep regression. He always took a bottle yo go back to sleep and think he was genuinely hungry.
Stopped napping completely at 12 months, only if I pushed him in the buggy or went somewhere in the car. So doesn't sound that odd to me. Maybe stop the naps if they aren't needed, and a short push around the block for a 30 minute nap if he gets grouchy

She*

My little girl is 21 months and still doing the same. She eats brilliantly during the day and can polish off 20-30oz in the night. It’s total habit and she’s trying to self soothe herself back to sleep on the bottle. I’m just going with it for now, it won’t last forever.

My DD had a bottle of milk at night until around 17 / 18 months, occasionally 2 bottles. Not every night some nights she would sleep through 12 hours or only wake once. I kept giving it as was worried she was hungry as she's always been little for her age. After it she would go straight back to sleep in her own room.

To stop it we basically watered down the milk a bit every night until it was just water. That generally stopped most of the waking and she would still wake up for it 2-3 nights but only once.

She stopped napping at 2 years 5 months and since then has been very consistently sleeping 12 hours x

Thank you everyone for your kind replies.

She eats really well during the day - 3 meals plus snacks and she has a varied diet - usually just eats the same as me and DP. So I do know it’s not hunger but just comfort/habit!

I will try watering down the milk gradually at night and stop stressing over naps so much!