What life skills should an 11 year old have?

[robinpud]

She can send a text but can't peel a spud.
She can do a powerpoint but can't sew on a button.. has never made a cup of tea

I blame the parents

I know each child is different but roughly what should they be able to do I wonder

Aren't the organised associations great, Seeker? My dd is a Guide and it has made her so much more independant and that is where she has gained so many important life skills. As I mentioned early, I can still remember so many things I learnt at Brownies an although I laughed about it, I'm sure there's many more things I do now, that I learnt there.

I like your list Seeker

the thankyou note one is a very good point. In general, 11 seems the right age to be aware of your impact on other people in that kind of way, to realise why manners and consideration make a difference, not just because your mum has told you to do it.

Seeker I may direct dd towards this thread! Can I add to list wash and dry own hair, pack own suitcase and school bag. And do all the above without being reminded!

Sign me up, Seeker! Seriously, I look forward to my own DS reaching the age where he can balance a spoon on his nose etc - it sounds great fun.

DS1 (10) can do pretty much all household chores except ironing, and can do some cooking. (Can bake independently, make toast, operate microwave, and make coffee. Needs help cooking a meal.)

But he's very reluctant to experiment out of the house. He has no sense of direction, and worries about getting lost. He can handle a very basic shop, but only if someone points him in the right direction! He's never been on a bus/train on his own.

I'm very interested in this thread. I have always expected my dcs to do a lot for themselves - and allowed them to do things which horrified many of my friends - using sharp knives and so on. I had children late in life, as they say, and so did my mother. I was also the younges by far - my brothers are 8 and 16 years older than me. My mother was born in 1920 - and I think that in the 30's and 40's a lot more was expected of children than now.

My mother expected us to be very practical and to make real contributions to the household - in the days before all the labour saving devices we have now, everybody DID contribute according to their ability - it's only very recently that there was enough "slack" for there to be hangars on. I think my mother brought us up the way she was brought up - and I am inclined to do the same.

And anyway, I think children get such a kick out of doing "real' stuff (why do pretend cooking when you can do the real thing?) that it's a shame to stop them.

Be able to cross a road unaided - B road or slower A-road!!
Make a simple snack (toast or sandwich type food)
Make a hot drink
Be allowed to go out to post a letter/see a friend
Wash up/load dishwasher
Set/clear table for meals
Apart from being able to read and write .
Know how to use a phone

Also, it's probably illegal now, but being able to be in the house by themselves for a short period of time in case they need to fend for themselves one day after school (knowing not to answer the phone or the door if they are by themselves, careful what they do in the kitchen to make a meal etc). You never know.

I have left my 12 year old at home on her own for a couple of hours during the day and an hour in the evening. She loves it - and I don't put any restrictions on what she does - apart from answering the door. She knows not to tell anyone who phones that she's on her own - she says "mum's talking to someone on her mobile at the moment - she'll call you back"

Oh - taking an efficient phone message. That's another one.

safely cross a road
safely cycle to the shop
get the bus home from school alone
peel carrots and potatoes
lay table clear table load dishwasher
load washing machine sort washing
make a cuppa
answer the phone politely( may I ask who is calling?- not yeah what who?) LOL
know how to phone 999
make her own bed
hoover own room
dusting
watering plants
feeding cats/dogs
heat up soup and make toast or sandwich
make paper firelighters
work out lunch money
make a pack lunch ot of what is in the fridge
cope with period pains and s.t. gubbins
know not to trust strangers
wait in public library after school until collected
take dog for short walk

gaed i have her well trained

.

I didn't do half of that at that age.

The ability to communicate with adults and other children

The ability to "join in "

It's sort of implicit in the "use public transport" one, but

read a map

Otherwise, this is a fantastically useful thread - mine are only 8 & 7, but it tells me what we should be working towards. Thanks!

In light of the row I have had with my 12 year old dd this morning, I've got another one to add!

Learning to budget your money!!! I'm sick of her telling me she's run out of credit on her phone, so I am today, going to buy her an accounts book and we are going to learn how to divide our pocket money up, to last a whole month! I will also be setting a list of extra jobs (overtime) she can do, to earn more money! Afterall, if we want more money, we have to do the overtime!

my 11 year old cannot spread

oooh, can't wait til my dcs can make a cup of tea!!!

And scoop dog poo!!!

Has anyone added (it's basic, but should be there I think by 11 (but currently isn't at 8-nearly-9) -

do own bath/shower inc. washing own hair properly

no - along with inability to spread ds 2 also has ability to spend hours in the shower without actually WASHING anything!

bink my ds 10 and ddnearly 9 can wash hair on own.my ds can cook lots of different meals ,make coffee,peel spuds,prepare veg.my dd is not interested in cooking .my ds has tried to do the ironing too!!!!

The ability to say no politely