moaning and/or arguing kids. f**ing depressing. Is this normal??

[ernest]

Bloody hell, my kids moan about EVERYthing I ask them today. For the sake of sounding like my granny, they don't know they're born. (aged 8, 7 & 4 btw)

The 4 year old goes to cm a couple of mornings a week, otherwise with me. ds1 & 2 have school 5 mornings and 2 afternoons a week, otherwise they're FREE. They hardly have any chores to do, hardly get homework.

Yet every bloody time I ask anything of them, they moan so much I want to cry. We're moving soon and they'll for the 1st time be educated in english. They can't write English. SO I reckon they need to learn. Fk me, the moaning if I even suggest it. Today, due to doctors appointment, they had 2 hours' of school, then it's been a dvd, playing outside, Aikido, and they've moaned every step of the way from morning to evening. I've just had to send them upstairs as it's just got too much for me. The uproar when I suggested doing some English

Now ds2 is really upset and I feel bad. I'm pg atm and dh is away all week, so by the evening I've got no energy left and it just feels too much to cope with.

Do all kids moan at every little f*ing thing and every time they need to do anything, or is it just mine?

And how do you cope with it? I feel thoroughly miserable myself now, 2 evenings in a row with their mardy bloody faces Seriously, I need to learn how to deal with the coplaining and moaning before I run away and hide. For a very long time. Am panicking htf I'm going to cope when dc4 makes it's appearance

It is not just your kids, i have just had 'words' with DS1 who always moans when asked to do the simplest things! and now ds2 is starting to copy him, if there not maoning their fighting!!

For me things just seem worse because like you I also PG with number 4, so increasingly short-tempered and tired. My kids are not really so bad

Have you anyone near you who can let you have a break? It must be doubly hard if DH is away as well(hugs)

are you in the uk?my 4 year old ds is at school thank god

mine argue/whinge/moan,mainly the ds's,and mainly the older 2(ds1 is 10,dd1 is 9).things have got a little better since i met dh-he said i was putting up with way too much shit off them and they really ought to be doing more,so we drew up a list of rules that they have to abide by or be punished

they still complain when they get punished though,and oftent hey complain about food,which does my head in.

the only thing i can say is i have 5 dc now,and its no worse than when i had 3,except for the fact the arguing is in stereo now.

just seen on your profile you are in switzerland whereabouts?

Sympathies, DC r same age & I have a baby. DS1 moans like u describe, too, ds2 not much better. Mine squabble rather than moan. I think u should let go of the English tuition 4 now, not worth aggro 2 u.
Can they read English?

no, no one about. annoying thing is, so they're upstairs - ds2 upset, ds1 probably doesn't care less, enjoying a book, but the net result is I'm the one feeling totally miserable about it (again), they don't get any English done, they don't help out eg emptying dishwasher and I just feel like it's a vicious circle.

I can't cope with the moaning. Especially when it's gone on all day. By 6 I need an easy, clear run, or I im/explode

moaning really irriates me, especially when I am knackered after a busy day then cook dinner and they moan about what we have.

Ignore everything EXCEPT nice voices/non moans.
And politely say im not listening to you till you say that nicely. Anlso start saying, a lot, if you have nothing nice to say then dont say anything at all.
I have been known to throw a dinner straight in the bin if its met with a "Oh I dont like that" for the fortieth night.
Pesky kids!

they can read, ds1 much better than ds2, but they can't write. On the one hand I would just leave it, on the other, it seems stupid to sit on it till September then BOOM they suddenly have to do all their written work in English and they'll be totally out of their depths.

I'm near Zurich btw.

DS3 not in school. Maybe when we move he will start, maybe not, it's still unclear.

So people say their kids moan to (and bicker - mine don't fight as such, but they have phases, like last night where every interaction was mean and grumpy and rude between each other, and even tho' it's not directed at me, it's so depressing. I think it's a pg thing, cos atm it really depresses me, and now when I feel miserable I just cannot seem to shake it off. SO last night I felt totally down all evening, so ended up watching tv, which I don't usually, so going to bed far too late, so feeling tireder today, and more easily upset... and so it goes on)

And then dh phones up and I'm miserable. Again!

So, how do you deal with the moaning, esp in stereo. Oh Lord, do I know that already.

good advice CC
where are you moving to ernest?

Munich. Dunno when. depends on house sale, but 1st of August at latest.

Also, if they are moaning about nothing, sitting there with ds's, chocolate, nice food etc etc. And they are actively whinging. REMOVE things. Say you can have that back when you have stopped the whinge.

Glad it's not just mine

DD1 sat and told me tonight that I am not the boss of her and she can do as she likes

She is 6!! God help us in a few years

"you're not the boss of me!" Ds's exact words - thankfully to db not to me.

Have talked with them. Managed to end day semi-positively. I just really want our time to be positive and it seems so negative atm.

I don't want every interaction to be a battle.

Mine are 2 and 3 and they screech at each other constantly - they sound like fighting cats and it drives me mad. I ended up joining in and screeching like a fish wife tonight.

And now they are in bed, I feel bad.