Feeling like a failure with baby’s food and eating

[Berangere]

DS is one and still really dislikes fruit and vegetables. He will just about eat a few bits of strawberry but it takes him a while. He will eat fruit and veg in things like banana pancakes, spag bol, pasta sauce, curry etc - but instantly spits them out especially fruit and veg with skins! Fruit is a big part of snack time at nursery and every day they tell me he has spat or thrown his snack.
I really tried when Weaning to give variety but he hasn’t been keen since the start, preferring things like yogurt, toast, pasta etc.
He has had 12 teeth come through since 6 months so I feel we’ve been constantly battling with teething. He’s got his fourth first molar cutting at the moment and I am hoping he will be a bit hungrier when that’s all done.
Have I set him up for failure by not persevering with fruit and veg in the early stages? All the other babies I know are fruit fiends!!!

Firstly try not to worry about “ all the other babies” and try to not get too anxious about yours. I know Mums always think it is our fault.
You must dread pick up at Nursery. Can they do a bit of a food diary for you for now just noting likes and dislikes. That way it can just be handed over discreetly or in baby’s bag and you can look at home.
If apple or pear would be accepted without skin for e.g. I’d ask them to do that.

Have a look on here. There are some information sheets for parents

https://infantandtoddlerforum.org/toddlers-to-preschool/fussy-eating/

You really haven’t, set him up for failure OP. Not even the tiniest bit. You have offered him the foods you would like him to eat and you can do no more. You can’t make a child eat something they don’t want. Keep offering fruits and veggies. Put some on each plate but don’t give him the slightest hint you care whether he eats it. I’d not praise him if he does it any of it either, so he doesn’t pick up on this being something you are really wanting him to have. He is having fruit and veggies hidden in his meals which is great. And the things he is eating sound really good. No way would mine have entertained curry, spag Bol.

Maybe check with nursery that they’re not making a deal about him not eating fruit/veg snacks too. And try not worry about how much of it he is having compared with other babies. He sounds like he is doing fine. And you are too.

Sorry I know this is a bit late but honestly, the only thing my toddler truly likes is his fruit and veg and not actual food!! I wish he really liked his other food! Try not to worry because the actual food will make him full and you can put fruit and veg in those meals like you said and he will eat it. Always keep offering more fruit and veg every meal and hopefully he will like it

Goodness me, don’t worry about it OP. I know it feels awful when you’re in it but honestly it sounds like he’s eating well - just keep offering a variety of foods and it’ll all come good eventually. Give him a multivitamin (more for peace of mind than anything else).

if you google fussy eating there are lots of websites that give you good ways to sneak fruit and veg into meals but don’t stress about it.

in a couple of years this will all be behind you!

You're doing an amazing job!!! Don't stress.

My son is 18 months and he won't eat veg on its own still, he will eat it in other meals. I don't stress, I'm not a big veggie eater myself only in other dishes and I'm fine!

He only started eating fruit recently after only eating purées.

What you're giving him is more than enough to keep him fit and healthy. Not all kids eat everything!

Try not to stress.
Easier said than done.
I really rate these crappy temu plates (sorry for the link)

Basically it means i have to offer 4 things and it pushes me to try a bit harder as she doesnt like empty pickets.
So i do something safe (pasta and tomato and cheese or noodles, something thats a treat/i know she likes and then wild cards anyveg or fruit i can find

if my dd hates it i either am completely indifferent or if i fancy a snack eat it off her plate saying yum.

she rejected blue Berries x3 this week then just gobbled a load down at dinner.

Toddlers eh?
keep offering it though

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This thread is over a year old btw.

OP, hope things have improved and you're feeling more confident