Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Domestic abuse and ex letting kids down for holidays

8 replies

15yearstogo · 25/07/2023 21:45

Ex has just given three days notice that he's not having children for the next two weeks. I have a CAO but no money to get a solicitor involved. And even then, does anyone know if there is anything I can actually do about this? My children are distraught as they were really looking forward to seeing him. He's been gradually getting worse and worse lately with this sort of stuff, its been 3 years this week that I ended it so its like he's planned it on purpose.

What do I say to the kids? And is there anything realistic I can do? How do others deal with this sort of thing? He copied in a solicitor and has blamed it on me, says I have caused him financial hardship...this is a bloke who earns £75k and often doesn't pay the measely child maintenance he's meant to!!! I think he's mad but know he's also a narcissist through and through. Its going to completely f up my plans as I was going to be doing some temp work as Im completely broke, I am sure he's done it on purpose for this reason. Its post separation abuse but noone seems to know what I can do about it. I do get post domestic abuse support but even she said there's very little I can actually do. Its beyond me to understand that nothing can be done, the impact on me, and the kids is so big, seems crazy he can carry on with this disruption and abuse from a distance.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 25/07/2023 21:51

Send him a breezy message saying no problem, you were hoping that was the case as you have an impromptu holiday offered to you by a 'friend'

And then go through CMS so you get your proper amount - £980?

TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 25/07/2023 22:15

LaurieFairyCake · 25/07/2023 21:51

Send him a breezy message saying no problem, you were hoping that was the case as you have an impromptu holiday offered to you by a 'friend'

And then go through CMS so you get your proper amount - £980?

This absolutely!

Marmalady75 · 25/07/2023 23:24

Don’t let him know it has bothered you at all. He is looking for a reaction.

Noella12 · 25/07/2023 23:31

LaurieFairyCake · 25/07/2023 21:51

Send him a breezy message saying no problem, you were hoping that was the case as you have an impromptu holiday offered to you by a 'friend'

And then go through CMS so you get your proper amount - £980?

This!!!!!

On a positive note how relieved you must feel to not be with him anymore.

BudgetBuster · 26/07/2023 03:02

Does he often no show? When was the last time he saw the kids?

BritInAus · 26/07/2023 03:15

Very sad for the kids. Agree with @LaurieFairyCake 's reply above.
You can't force a shit parent to be one who cares. Very sad for the children, but better to let him slip out of their lives than let them spend time with him - it will be very obvious and damaging to them that he isn't interested. Much better for the kids to have one great parent than one great one and one shit one every other weekend (or whatever).

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 26/07/2023 04:15

He might change his mind if you seem happy about it.

Fatat40 · 26/07/2023 06:35

Agree with the others - you need a CMS claim to sort out finances, you'll get a decent amount if he earns £75k.

You can't make him be a good dad but you can make him pay the minimum

New posts on this thread. Refresh page