Help! Losing my mind with 3 month old sleep

[mibid]

Bottle fed DS 3 months old. He settles for bed at 8am with the shush/pat method in his cot and then wakes about three hours later for another feed and will fall asleep about midnight, he then wakes up another three or so hours later and then he will sleep for less than an hour and is wide awake and needs shushing/patting back to sleep or a feed again and then doesn't sleep properly for the rest of the night. Only really short bursts.

I'm awake from pretty much 3am every day and it's killing me.

He is currently in the process of being switched over to prescription formula as we suspect he has CMPA and/or reflux.

Does anyone have ANY advice at all please? I'm desperate and going out of my mind.

I imagine 3 months is too old for "sleep training". Although would never try cry it out or similar.

(Posted for a friend but she will be reading and responding to other posters)

I assume you mean 8pm not 8am.

To be honest this sounds quite good for 3 months to me (my Dc woke every 45 minutes until she was 5.5 months) although suspect that’s not what you want to hear! I used to go to bed when baby first went down for the first 5 months ago. So I literally went to bed at 8pm every night for months and months. Yes it was depressing but I needed to bank that sleep. Can you try that?

Other than that - any opportunities for naps or lie ins even one or two days a week?

Sorry on a more positive note: In my experience sleep does improve as they get older and bigger. Six months was a game changer for us - almost overnight. We didn’t do anything.

To me it sounds pretty normal. I have no recollection of most of first 6 months with mine as I was so sleep starved. I went to sleep the moment she fell asleep no matter what time it was. I am using wake windows which for me work as it gives structure to the day and I can estimate. I keep the bedroom dark as it helps with melatonin production (baby's body produces this until about 3am hence lighter sleep towards the morning). For me it helped to just accept that's it is hard in the beginning and follow the baby's needs knowing it won't last forever. Good luck.

This sounds normal, i agree. I suggest a dummy could help them soothe themselves back to sleep (if it doesn’t fall out! Or at least all you’ve to do is pop it back in)
Go to bed early, and plenty of rest where you can. It won’t last but it’s a rough few weeks at this age

Mum needs to sleep from 8pm til 3am, then get through til next 8pm as best she can. It will get better in time, there's literally nothing that will work at 3m old.

Both of mine didn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time til well gone 1yo. It's torture. They're alright now tho 😈

This was us with our first. At 12 weeks we called night nurses in desperation about sleep training and got told no by all of them, apparently 4 months and 14lbs is the recommendation for starting sleep training. Firstly, it is all temporary. Set that as your mantra, and repeat. Secondly, you are actually doing pretty well with the sleeping by and large (miserable as that is to hear). If you can afford it, get a night nurse in once a week, or for a weekend to try save your sanity. They won't sleep train at this age, but they might make you feel better. If you can't, set that routine, rigidly stick to it (bath, book, bottle, bed and at the same time every night), they will catch on. Our daughter suddenly got better at 4 months, then was actually good until the dreaded 8 month sleep regression. Stick with it. I didn't use it, but takingcarababies on instagram has a sleep course i've heard is decent and has helpful tips that aren't just "cry it out".

Could you try settling your DC for bed at 11pm to
make the night as short as possible then you may only have to do one feed?

Personally, I'd wait and see if there's any improvement once he's on his new milk.

Sleep training doesn't have to involve leaving a baby to cry. I'd consider shush/pat to be sleep training, I also did pick up/put down younger than that which worked well for my baby.

I'd also have a look at wake windows for a 3 month old to be sure that he isn't over tired which can easily cause multiple wake ups. Especially if you don't think it's down to hunger or discomfort/pain.

Agree with others, pretty good for 3 months and there isn't much you can do but give them the best possible chance. E.g. use awake windows to structure their nap times, blackout blind to help either early morning light, make sure they are warm enough in the 3/4/5am time it is the coldest and check their amount of day sleep isn't too much. First nap of the day being too early can encourage an early wake as they compensate too. All in all though try to embrace the early cuddles and get to bed early yourself. It'll settle.

You need to try and do shifts - you go to bed at 8pm too and partner if you have one does the first two might feeds then you take over at 4am

Beat advise I was ever given was similar to this. THIS.IS.TEMPORARY. This is not forever. Repeat repeat repeat. Got me through the day many a times (still on occasion does - 14 mnth old now so the issues are different!)

It's shit. You can't bank sleep unfortunately so get it when you can. Bedtime for me then was about 7pm. Corrie can go on record for a few months.
On a good day be thankful and grab any pockets of sleep you can.
On a bad day keep thinking tomorrow might be better.

Oh yes, it's awful but normal I'm afraid. If your DC is bottle fed, is there anyone who can take some of the strain? Friends of mine did it in shifts with their DC - so one parent would be 'on duty' for feeds from 8pm-2am while the other slept and then they would swap. It meant they each got around 5hrs unbroken, which makes a difference. Or you could do alternate nights?