Am I the only one who doesn’t revolve my day around nap time?

[shineonyoucrazydiamondd]

I’ve got a group of mum friends I met through a baby class, they will not meet if it’s within babies nap time, and they spend hours trying to get baby to nap and if they don’t the day is just a disaster and they won’t meet up at all.

I go out whatever time and don’t really plan around nap time much. She normally sleeps roughly around 10 and 2 which is what became her natural nap time and if I’m out I think well she’ll sleep in pram or car.

if my baby won’t nap I go out anyway and she will sleep in the pram or the car or she won’t. She’s never been a great napper and I don’t fancy battling it every day to get her to nap. I’ve had ups and downs getting her to sleep at night so it’s not perfect but I do have a bedtime routine.

I guess my question is - am I doing it wrong? I’m the only one out of that group that doesn’t do this so militantly.
Should I be persevering with getting the naps at home or is it okay to not have my life dependant around when baby naps?

I was like you but never judge others. I just couldn’t be arsed with Gina. But it worked for my best friend.

No but neither are your friends. Your friends and babies all have different needs/wants and no doubt are doing what they think is right for their family.

I am someone who does love a routine and my LO naps at the same times each day. We've done this fairly rigid routine since 8months. Before that it was more wake window based.
Ultimately you do you: if what you're doing is working for you and your LO then great. But don't judge others and don't think there is a better or worse way.
We moved to a routine to help nighttime sleep and it worked. It also helped my mental health knowing where I am at certain times each day and being able to plan things better. Sometimes naps do go wrong and it can be annoying but that's ok. Whatever your friends reasons are for sticking to naps, they're valid and important to them.

I didn't, but if we went out she was in a sling so she just slept there. I think it very much depends on the child.

Heck no way. No time for that. We have other children who have activities, jobs to get done, parents to see, things to do.

No I’m not judging others, if anything I was wondering if what I was doing was abnormal. I’m a FTM.

They are just doing what is best for their babies, as are you.

If my baby doesn't nap, he's miserable so we wouldn't be going anywhere. A car/pram nap isn't the same for him as his beloved cot and again, he's miserable because he hasn't slept as well.

No baby class or whatever is worth that.

I was obsessive about naps with DC1, by DC3 I was the complete opposite.

I did the same as you when DS was having 2 naps, he could nap in the car/pram on the way to somewhere and if that was a short one we could make up for it later on.

Now he only has 1 nap, it needs to be a decent one or he'll be miserable all day, so I can't let him just have 20 mins in the car any more. You're not wrong to do what works for you, but neither are those other mums.

Each to their own. To answer your thread title, I’m sure you’re not the only person in the world who does it your way, though.

You are fine, it works for you. I had one who would nap everywhere and it was fine going out and about but one of mine was an absolute nightmare for naps. If we were out over nap time he would just cry and eventually scream. He wouldn’t nap out and about ever, it was hellish, so I did revolve my life around nap time for a while, as he would nap in his cot. So you’re not wrong but neither are the other Mums.

When mine were small, they just slept wherever we were, i e.pram/cot/travel cot etc. I never planned our days around nap time - that would've been too restrictive. But everyone does what suits them, I suppose.

I was massively neurotic about naps and wish I hadn't been! My baby would never sleep in a pram though so that was part of the problem.

Agree with pp - each to their own.

I wasn’t prepared to do that when my kids were little. I had one child who was a fussy thing and my second baby was totally chill, so very different kids, but I just took them wherever I wanted to go and hoped for the best!

I was strict with bedtimes (6-7pm), but would relax it if we had a special occasion or visitors.

It depends on your child. If mine didn’t nap he’d scream. Not a good idea to go out anywhere with a screaming baby, not very relaxing for anybody. Usually I could walk him about in the pram for a bit then he’d sleep and I could go into a cafe or somewhere to sit down but I wouldn’t take an overtired screaming child into a cafe

It depends on the child.
My first would not nap anywhere but in his pram and we had to walk around the block until he fell asleep. He would get increasingly fractious and distressed with tiredness if we were anywhere else.
My second liked to sleep in his cot, but would often dose off in the buggy if we were moving.
It is what it is, and when you have small children getting through the day without distress and upset is a priority.
The most annoying people to me, when mine were little, were the smug parents who bragged that their dc would sleep anywhere. I avoided them.

I was exactly the same as you op, never understood my mum friends that were so controlled over naps. It never seemed to do them any favours.

First time round I was obsessive about the naps. This time he would only sleep on me on the day and I just accepted it instead of stressing. Now he is 9 months he does now go in his cot one nap in morning and and afternoon. I will always want him to do his morning nap at home as gives me chance to get ready properly and won’t summer holidays looming will be able to pay some attention to my 3 year old. The afternoon one I’m a bit more flexible with if at home fine he will nap in the cot but I’m more than happy for him to nap on the go for that one. When he goes down to one nap it will be at home and the day will be set around his nap time as just better for our family

Most mums I met were like you and I felt like the odd one out. My baby wouldn’t sleep outside at all, not in a pram or a car or a sling. She barely would nap at home either and she wasn’t just fussy, she was inconsolable when she didn’t nap. I used to get stressed about even going for a walk around the estate, it was horrible. I used to marvel at my friends and their babies happily sleeping wherever.

I never bothered with a set nap time or place when I was on Mat leave with mine, they either napped on me or just napped in the car/pram/sling if we were out and about. I was terrified when they started nursery as didn’t know how the staff would get them to nap, but they did!

My 8 month old naps at roughly 8am, 11am and 2pm. She then sleeps 5pm - 7am. All her naps and bedtime have been in her crib since she was three weeks, and she falls asleep pretty much instantly, we’ve never done ‘Cry It Out’. So, yes, I am like your mom friends, I do protect her nap schedule because her sleep is so fantastic I don’t want to do anything to mess it up. Long may the 14 hour sleep last!

You're not doing it wrong, if what you’re doing works. But if you want improvements, then yes, you may need to experiment with a few changes

Some babies will only sleep in their cots OP. If anything you've got the better deal as you're not stuck at home if you don't want to be.
As long as your baby is getting the naps she/he needs that's all you need to worry about.
I'm assuming they're all FTM? As this tends to go out the window once you have more than one as the older one needs to go to places .

I am like you for the most part. But now DS1 is two his sleep affects his eating and vice versa. If he doesn’t nap he’s too tired to eat and then wakes up early because he’s hungry and then we’re all out of sync and it can knock on for a few days. Sometimes we’ll do a car nap but the quality of sleep is obvious now he’s bigger. I can’t transfer him anymore because he wakes and if it’s too long it’ll be enough for a top up but not enough to see him through until bedtime (eg a 20 minute danger nap).
DS2 is still only weeks old but already he’s a different being to his brother. He cries and gets very restless when he’s tired, DS1 just used to stare.

I love a nap rotuine. I love the peace and quiet of being at home during nap time and knowing there is that guaranteed 2 hour window to get stuff done/sleep/have some 'me' time everyday.

But as everyone else as said, just do what works for you.

Nothing to worry about. Plus, statistically anyway, many of your group will have second babies within 2-3 years and will be forced to be more flexible with naps (and chocolate/snacks, and TV usually...).

I vividly remember my NCT friend holding her screaming baby at 11.58am and refusing to give her a bottle until noon, because Gina Ford. People do all sorts, children generally survive unscathed if a bit cranky.