I have a 3 year old DS and a 5, nearly 6 month old DD.
DS was a dream baby - took everything in his stride (and still does now), was always happy, slept through the night from about 6/7 weeks old and always had a great daytime routine where he’d be napping upstairs in his cot multiple times a day.
I know you don’t get 2 the same but wow, DD! We’ve had severe reflux and suspected CMPA since she was about 2 weeks old which resulted in hours of constant screaming episodes every day so that in the end DH had to be off sick because of what it was doing to me, being left with it all day.
She would refuse to sleep unless it was a contact nap and in a pram or the car, wake up and start screaming the second she sensed any movement had stopped. Red traffic lights / junctions etc were all enough to make her start. Going shopping was an absolute nightmare and couldn’t be done alone as one of us had to have the pram constantly moving so the other could actually look at the shelves as she would scream if you stopped to look or pick something up.
I just missed my maternity package at work so am on SMP. Everything is paid for but we don’t have any money for luxuries or for me to get back to my hobby, riding. So I’m constantly in the house with her by myself aside from an occasional look around the shops or when DS is not at preschool.
There’s nowhere to really walk where we live that is pram friendly. I’ve often debated a baby carrier but didn’t know if there was a point at this age or whether there’s ones that would be easy for one person to manage as the one we had with DS was a complex 2 person operation!
DD is on prescription milk and omeprazole so her screaming episodes aren’t as bad anymore but she can still get unsettled when stopped in the car on occasion. The problem is, she still refuses to have any semblance of a day time routine. She refuses point blank to sleep in her bed upstairs and will just cry and cry. She won’t sleep in her Moses basket downstairs and I’m aware this will be a lesser option as she’s nearly outgrown it. She will even fight contact naps and just lie there screaming. Sometimes I can get her to sleep but other times I get so overwhelmed, I need to put her down, but all I can hear is the screaming.
As a side note, I’m awaiting assessment for ADHD - I’m struggling so much with the noise of the screaming, the not being able to get any tiny thing done in the house and the boredom of trying to entertain a baby who obviously can’t sit up yet and wants to be awake the whole day. Then because she’s tired, she’s not pleasant to spend time with. She rolls herself constantly onto her front but then will spend her time being sick or grumping very loudly.
She can be absolutely fine but the second she realises you want her to sleep, it’s like a switch flicks and she starts screaming and won’t stop no matter what you do.
When DS is home, I feel even worse. We have the most amazing bond and I feel like I’m limited in what I can do with him because of the high needs of DD. He will rarely want to play by himself and always asks me to play with him which it’s really hard to do when I’ve got a baby that is constantly wanting me or being so loud! I wish I could take him everywhere again as that’s what he’s used to but I can’t lug our bulky pram and keep up with him. I feel like I’m wasting his last year before school where I should be able to enjoy him, because DD is so difficult.
Her night time routine is usually fairly good but other times she will fight that sleep too.
I adore her but I’m just so miserable with what my life has become. I spend everyday either crying or wanting to and feeling on edge.
DH doesn’t understand my frustration at him getting to go out to work, speak to adults and think for himself with no restrictions on him doing things and is very lax with helping with things I need doing, like cleaning. We’ve just got a new sofa and all he wants to do is lie on it of an evening!
I’ve got the perinatal team involved to try and help me but they’re all on leave for x amount of time before they can even come and work with me.
Does this ever stop and get better?