Is it normal for a baby to not be clingy?

[samybooker]

I have a 10 month old little girl. She is absolutely beautiful, my absolute world, however sadly she just doesn't reciprocate the same love. She is definitely not clingy, she is happy to be playing with her toys and actually moans sometimes when I try to pick her up. She smiles at me sometimes, laughs sometimes but she doesn't ever put her arms up to me to be held. She doesn't try play with me, I could leave her with a stranger and she would be just as happy with them as she is with me, she wouldn't look for me if I left a room. It's really sad, all I want to do is cuddle her and feel needed but I don't, she seems to push me away a lot, it's so sad. I know she's just a baby, but sometimes I just wish she was more clingy. Even if my mum has watched her for a couple hours for me, I come back and expect her to be happy to see me and it's 50/50 sometimes she is and sometimes she's just nothing haha!

I’m not an expert - just a mum and grandmother who also ran a playgroup. I’d say it’s the more confident, secure children who aren’t clingy. My own 2 DCs would go off with anyone. When I would go to collect at childminders the response was quite often “Can we stay just five more minutes?” Painful but reassuring.

Having said that, some very happy children also appear clingy at times. Unless there are other issues, I’d congratulate you on raising a self-sufficient, sociable child.

Clingy children are children that don't have a secure attachment.

You should be happy your daughter feels loved and secure.

My second child was definitely not clingy, which as a joy after my first. Second now 16, first now 19 and this does reflect their personalities.

More recently DD(2nd) has been more demonstrative, hugged one of my friends today who she hasn’t seen for ages, best thing was my friend is having a tough time and she was really touched.

All kids are different. DD is a real people pleaser, she is just isn’t as needy as my first was.

@OllyBJolly thank you that is reassuring to hear. I can't describe how much I just love her and want her to cuddle me all the time ( which iknow isn't possible haha )
But she is so content and happy doing her own thing which is lovely but sometimes I wish she would just put her arms up to me or look for me when I leave / get excited to see me when I return.
I shouldn't moan .. haha but it would just mean the world to me.

@AndTheSurveySays that's a good way to put it .. I hope that's true. Me and my husband have always been complimented with what calm parents we are. His mum is a nurse for children and she always says she loves coming to stay with us because it's such a calm household. I wonder if this has had an affect?! And I can count on one hand how many times my mum/his mum has had her over night, she is almost always with me or daddy. Maybe she just feels so secure?! That would make me feel better seeing it that way!

@AuditAngel i guess her not being clingy isn't the end of the world, all I wish for is that she understands how much I love her and that she shows me some love here and there just to reassure me. Iknow she is a baby and I should cut her some slack lol, I just want to cuddle her so much but she's really not that way .. I don't want to be pushy with it either as she's content doing her thing. Since she was born we haven't spent much time apart, me and her daddy are there for her needs straight away so maybe she just feels content and is naturally just not a clingy baby, maybe as she grows up she may be more open to it.
Awww that's so sweet of your daughter...
that must have really touched you too!
That's lovely ...

This is a good sign of progress, an almost ready for nursery sign. Don’t worry it’s not likely to impact on later bonding

Maybe she just feels so secure?! That would make me feel better seeing it that way!

Of course she feels secure, her behaviour is showing you that.
She knows her someone will come to her if needed , she knows she will get her needs met, she feels loved.

Be happy, you're obviously doing a great job!

@mastertomsmum ow I hope so!
Some mums complain they can't put their little one down without them crying and here I am praying she will notice when I'm not there haha! What are us mums like!
I'm a first time mum and I guess I just expected her to be cling to my hip and putting her arms up to me and not wanting to go to anyone else other then familiar faces but I guess it's not bad this way either. It is easier knowing she isn't upset whenever I do leave her with my mum. Plus she is so independent and loves play time! I can get a few bits done for myself whilst she plays... so there is benefits of it too haha!
I do secretly still hope one day she becomes a little more clingy though

My youngest was like that lol I got a hug the other day at 14 years from her and boy it shocked me and it felt weird lol she’s not a hugger either but think she’s trying seeing her older sister at 17 still loves a mum cuddle especially on a bad day. Youngest didn’t want me there for first day of kindergarten either or pretty much any events lol I still turned up 🤣