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Parenting

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Depression

3 replies

incognito786 · 24/07/2023 21:18

So I’ve been with my husband nearly 4 years and we have two children together. A 16 month old and a 4 month. Our marriage was great at the start I loved him wigh my whole heart. He was there for me through the most difficult times which I’ll always be thankful for.

After my second he just changed: he has loads of down days which he says it’s down to depression but won’t talk to me about it and when I press him he says I’m annoying. He always comments on everything I do.
I have post natal depression, so I’m worried my babies don’t love me the most as I’m their primary caregiver. I do every single thing: I’m up all night with the baby and in between making sure the toddler is settled whilst he’s asleep as his thyroid makes him extremely exhausted.

When my daughter is close to me Everyone makes comments abojt how she’s just bothered about her mum but when she’s ignoring me they’re watching my reaction to when she’s kissing them or showing them love. Which is just strange. My husband makes comments like oh she doesn’t kiss me like that. Or he asks who I love me more. And tells me he loves hee more.

Honestly everydya im worried my daughter will love my in laws more than me as we live with them and they literally give into everything she says. And I just can’t get through these thoughts.

Really when he’s down he’s just rude to me: and passive aggressive and tells me he’s a different person . So really he’s not the person I fell in love with. I can’t do it anymore.

I can’t live like this

OP posts:
Purpleboat · 24/07/2023 21:44

This sounds really tough for you OP. I hope you’re getting support for your PND. Not sure if you know but men can get depression post-partum too. Coil your DH have this? Especially as you note the change being after your baby was born.
Do you have to live with your in laws? Having a newborn is a challenging time enough anyway, without complicated relationships impacting too.
Really don’t worry about your baby loving your in laws more. DC don’t love anyone more than their parents. In addition, they want to feel secure with boundaries which you will provide them with. You have been bonding with your child for nine months before anyone else met them. They love you. Good luck OP, I hope you get some help and support.

incognito786 · 28/07/2023 16:08

Purpleboat · 24/07/2023 21:44

This sounds really tough for you OP. I hope you’re getting support for your PND. Not sure if you know but men can get depression post-partum too. Coil your DH have this? Especially as you note the change being after your baby was born.
Do you have to live with your in laws? Having a newborn is a challenging time enough anyway, without complicated relationships impacting too.
Really don’t worry about your baby loving your in laws more. DC don’t love anyone more than their parents. In addition, they want to feel secure with boundaries which you will provide them with. You have been bonding with your child for nine months before anyone else met them. They love you. Good luck OP, I hope you get some help and support.

Thank you for your kind words x

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 28/07/2023 16:46

Are you living with your In-Laws? That sounds really tough Flowers

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