Eating with mouth open

[HarryBat]

How do I get my son to eat with his mouth closed?

He is nearly 7. I remind him ALL the time. He forgets instantly. Like every mouthful he's got his mouth open again.

I'm embarrassed for him in company, plus I have misophonia and it is HELL to sit with him while he's eating.

What is the secret parenting trick I don't know about to stop this happening? I don't want him to feel like I am disgusted by him.

He has ASD if that is relevant but language is fine, is in mainstream school etc. I think it's his social cues that cause the issue.

I keep on reminding them and have been doing so for ten years...

Maybe give it a break for a bit and then work on it again in a few months. 7 is still relatively young, I wouldn't lose hope yet. My DC are all teens now and generally have decent table mamners, but I think I was still nagging one of them about keeping their mouth closed until they were about 10.

I think this comes under the "don't sweat the small stuff" bracket. By that I don't mean it's not important for him to learn good manners, but...he's only six (albeit nearly 7), honestly still very young. My DC is a couple of years older, has ASD and hyper mobility and still occasionally eats with his mouth open - because he likes the sensory aspects of it. He forgets to use cutlery (he finds it hard to use) as well and prefers fingers mostly. I suggest you gently prompt / remind every meal time but don't make it into a big deal and he'll get there very soon.

Sorry to hear about the misophonia though, that does make it difficult. All I can't suggest there is doing whatever you would normally do e.g. background music. Have you tried to treat it with CBT?

My 3 are all under 6 and this was something I hadn't even started to tackle yet (we're still in the 'sit on your bum', 'don't reach across the table', 'stop annoying your sister' stage).

Earlier in the year we stayed at a friend's house with their young children, one of whom pulled my DS up on it.

Didn't think any more about it until we were out at a restaurant recently and my DS (4) said to me "Mummy why am I doing manners and you aren't"... Didn't have a clue what he was talking about until he demonstrated (I had embarrassingly answered back one of the other two while eating). When I asked him about it it all stemmed back to his friend telling him he shouldn't do it 6 months earlier.

Long story short, can another child tell him? Seems it might have more gravitas?

Ok it's reassuring to hear from others that he's still pretty young in this regard. I just feel like I've been telling him for 13 years already 😅 I'll keep on with the gentle persistence.

@Muststopeating you're almost certainly right! Mummy is wrong about everything but his friends are right... I guess it might come up naturally at some point but kids are so brutal, I feel bad for him!

So speaks a person who doesn't suffer from misophonia!

It's hard not to sweat the small stuff when you want to claw your own ears off - and it's either get them to eat with their mouth shut or leave the room whenever they are eating (which is likely to give them a bigger complex!)

OP, I have no advice other than carrying on as you are until it finally sinks in! (Mine is almost nine, also with ASD and I only have to say "mouth!" Once or twice a day now...

Mine is 23. I have failed. Plus he now has an untidy ginger beard which adds to the appeal. He also has ADHD would that be a factor?

Well no, I don't have misophonia, but I am autistic with sensory processing disorder which is very much triggered by certain sounds, so I have every sympathy- however I thought the focus of the OP was more on how realistic it was to change her dc's eating habits so was trying to offer some reassurance.

OP, in the meantime I suppose you could try something like Loop earbuds, they'd dull the sound but still allow you to converse during meals until he gets better.