Baby won't sleep in cot - help!

[Elmers]

I have an 8 month old who refuses to sleep in his cot at night. We've been co-sleeping since he was out of his moses basket and I need this to stop now so my Husband can actually sleep in his own bed with me.
We have a routine of bath then bottle around 6.30/7pm ish depending on how tired he is. He will fall asleep drinking his bottle. We then take him up to bed, and if I lie him on our bed he stays asleep. If I lie him in the cot in his room he wake up before I've taken away my hands. Sometimes I can get him to go back off but he's always awake within 10-15 minutes and crying properly - he's not a baby that really does proper crying very often so it strikes me that he's really unhappy. He will not settle in the cot, but if I take him out and put him on the bed he's asleep again very quickly.

The very odd thing is that we go away quite often and I can lie him down in a totally random cot (whatever is supplied by accommodation) and he will stay asleep. We always get a good 4/5 hours out of him before he wakes, although I do eventually have to bring him back onto the bed with me.

I just don't understand it, how can he be ok staying asleep in totally unfamiliar bed and room but wakes the instant I put him in his own cot.

I am guilty of doing lots of contact naps, but he will quite often have naps through the day in his cot. He's been in there for an hour as I type now. I just seems to be a night he refuses.

Try the Lucy Wolfe book my friend and I both found that helpful x

I have this issue with my 15.5m old. Still trying to figure out what to do about it.

I never managed and in the end I gave up and we coslept until she turned two. I was single so it didn’t inconvenience anyone else!

@Latenightreader my son is 2 in November and up until now has cosleep with me. DH in slate room!
Was two when she had the communication and understanding about sleeping in her own bed? How did you do it?!

Oh god, I can't live like this until he's 2.

Does his cot match up to the height of your bed? I currently co-sleep with my DS, but he's actually in his full size cot - I have just removed one side and positioned it flush to my side of the bed. This allows me to curl into his cot when feeding, or if he needs comfort during the night, but also allows my husband to be in the bed - DS never actually comes out of his cot, so he has his own bed space. I find it a helpful way to get them more familiar with their own cot to help the transition away from co-sleeping (currently using this approach with DS, who is only a few weeks old, but it worked well with DD who is now 3). Could that be something you could try - more gentle than any sleep training perhaps

i had the exact same issue as you OP, she refused going in the cot until she was 11 months when I had enough as it didn’t even work her being in our bed anymore as I couldn’t leave the room at all and my evenings were gone. I was exhausted. She would scream immediately if I put her in the cot. I tried different types of sleep training such as pick up put down etc and I found they just made DC more hysterical. You might need to consider sleep training.

the only thing that worked for us was putting her in the cot, saying good night and leaving the room and letting her cry. I didn’t want to do it and I found it extremely hard but I wouldn’t leave her more than 10 minutes and the first night she stopped crying after 9, next day 5, next day 2 then next day she went in the cot. In our experience we found we had to leave the room as the other methods just didn’t help. But that’s our experience yours might be different. We have our evenings back and she’s 13 months now. Occasionally she comes in our bed in the middle of the night if she wakes but I don’t mind that.

good luck