Stopping breastfeeding a toddler - tips?

[EmmyToo]

I’m still BF my 16 month old twins and think I need to stop. One isn’t that bothered, one is a nightmare. She’s always been a fan but recently it’s ramped up to the point where she’d feed round the clock if she could. She’s so stroppy and dramatic if I won’t feed her. Including if I’m feeding her sister; she stands at us screaming and trying to attack her sister because she’s so jealous. I think she’s teething so it soothes her (and her sister sucks her thumb which might help?). I breastfed my eldest until just past 2, and it was a very gradual phase out, so I’m not really sure how to expedite the process.

During the day I could probably distract her. But they both start waking from around three hours after bedtime and quite literally scream the house down if I don’t feed them. Often we’ll send my husband in first; he’s sometimes successful with calm twin but we’ll generally end up giving up after ten minutes or so with dramatic twin, and I feed her. I went out on Saturday night and she woke around 8.30 and was still pretty hysterical until I got back at 11. So had spent over two hours crying at him (he tried everything).

Has anyone got any wisdom or experience or tips or advice to share? Thanks in advance

Just here to say 'Solidarity'. It used to make me so mad when people said 'Just send Dad in, thats how they learn.'

DD did NOT learn. She would scream and cry and wail and not sleep.

So I am not actually any help as I let DD naturally wean herself off between 2 and 3 - but perhaps you could try day weaning first with 'Dont offer, dont refuse.' ?

I found cutting the bedtime feed first worked well, so that they weren't relying on it to get to sleep. So no overnight breastfeeds either. Get them used to a bedtime bottle, maybe Dad or someone else doing it, but tell them that there will be no more breastfeeding /boobies or whatever you call it at night. And stick to it. If you give in even once it won't work. You can tell them in terms they might understand, that they are big girls now and don't need it any more.
You will probably need to express a little ( or just use breast feeding shells) to relieve any engorgement, but that will soon settle down.
You may well find that daytime feeds start tapering off. You might need to be less available for a little while, so there isn't a screaming at you option.

My toddlers did not stop of their own accord! I fed till 2.5yo. At that point DC were able to understand my explanation that they drank it all and mummy has none left. They whinged for a bit but accepted it after a couple of weeks.

I recently stopped feeding my almost 2YO by stopping daytime feeds first. Then dropped the bedtime feed after a few weeks before finally stopping the feeds through the night! He was not happy about the overnight feeds stopping for the first 2 nights but quickly settled with DH, and on the 3rd night just resettled easily! Its so hard stopping when you feel like you're done, but they aren't! Good luck!

Just here to say im in the same situation!

Still feeding my 14 month old, and while i dont mind/quite enjoy it, we want to try for a second and my cycles havent returned yet so thinking i might need to stop or at least reduce.

I thought weaning would be easy cause he never seemed that bothered up until 12 months. Then its like he knew i wanted to stop and really ramped up!

Not sure id get very far with dont offer/dont refuse. Thats already basically what i do and he still wants it all the time!