5 month old doesnt seem bothered about me (mum)

[Lemonposset123]

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this. I spend alot of time with my 5.5 month old as I'm a stay at home mum whilst on maternity. I feel very bonded to her and love her to bits. But recently I left her for the FIRST TIME with my mum and went to a bridal shower for the afternoon. I'm glad she was fine with mum but when I came back she wasn't particularly excited to see me. I got a smile and grabbed her for a cuddle but nothing like I've seen other babies. Is it an age thing or?

It’s an age thing, don’t worry. In a couple of months they start to develop separation anxiety, but at this age they’re usually happy with anyone they know well, unless they’re breastfeeding in which case they’re usually a bit more clingy to mum.

Chat to her, play with her and show her you love her, it’ll all work out 🙂

@Astromelia thank you for the reassurance. I'm a first time mum and wasn't sure if I'm doing a good job! I do love to play and spend time with her and have seen her react well to me but noticed other babies cry and jump for mum, she was happy to smile and continue playing

All babies are a bit different, some are more clingy by nature when they’re little and some have a more relaxed temperament. Does she smile at you? Enjoy playing games with you, like being tickled or sung to? Like going in the sling, or being carried around by you? That’s what is important, not whether a baby is clingy or not. It’s a generally a good thing if they are content to do their own thing on occasion, suggests they aren’t particularly stressed or tense.

My first was clingy, hated being put down and distraught if I left her alone for ten seconds, probably up until she was old enough to negotiate with. My second was very relaxed and content (until she became a toddler 😁). Just different characters.

@Astromelia yes!! Yes to all the things you said. She loves to play with me, giggles, be carried around, we bathe together etc and lots of other fun things. I think I am surrounded by people who measure how much their baby loves mum based on clinginess to mum. I get regular comments like oh she's not that attached to you, my babies would only be held by me... it creates doubt for me but thank you x

Also just wanted to add she doesn't see dad as much as me (works full time and has a job that keeps him busy outside work hours also) but will laugh and giggle for him and also cry to be held by him when she sees him!

Sounds like she loves her dad, but it’s Mum that she really trusts to be there if she needs her.

The people suggesting she’s odd for not getting upset if you move away are wrong, and it’s unkind of them to suggest it’s not ok. Is it other mums? If so, it’s probably not about you - they’re trying to reassure themselves that their fussy babies are the normal ones by suggesting that yours is weird. They’re wrong though, both are normal.

My DD is in my opinion strongly bonded/securely attached to me, my DH my DM and her childminder.
She was never particularly sad /happy at changeovers before 13/14m and just got on with it.
Now she is very happy when DM arrives / we pick her up from CM, we drop her off at CM and its super cute too see.

at 5m @Id take it as a positive sign

How rude that they say that to you!

I've discovered my baby is way smilier with me when we look in the mirror together. It's funny it's like when I hold him or play closely with him he thinks we're one person but in the mirror he gives the big friendly smiles that he usually only gives to other random people like waitresses!

Babies are funny little people but I think they do see as as part of them or part of the furniture and perhaps not that exciting just reliable and cozy at this age

@Astromelia thank you!! I feel more confident after speaking to the lovely mums on this thread. Yes it's other mums but a range of different people (some fellow mum friends, my mil etc). I took it as a positive at first that she's happy and content but they made me feel as though she hasn't bonded hence why I asked the question .

@Totalwasteofpaper your DD sounds like a happy confident child to me, I should have the same reassurance myself!!

@Unexpectedlysinglemum yes!!! DD is the same with me. When we look in a mirror she will suddenly beam with joy. Or if she's laid down infront of a large mirror and spots me in the background, will smile at me eagerly waiting for me to look, when I look at her outside of the mirror she's back to looking everywhere but at mummy 🤣

I am so sorry you have to listen to such stupid comments from people around you. I would take it that your baby is feeling secure, content and happy so she has no need to cry and be clingy.

@Olika thank you for your kind words. Definitely feeling much better about it all!!