People who did not want kids but now love parenting?

[Snuffbox101]

Hi all, my wife wants children and I don't. Are there people here that really didn't want to be a parent, but compromised with their partner who did, had a kid, and now absolutely loves their child and being a mum/dad/parent and wouldn't look back?

(We are a wife-wife couple, she would be the one carrying the child, but even though I wouldn't be the one who has to go through the - what looks to me to be gruelling - process of birth, I'm still not keen).

N.B.: We are already in couple's Counselling.

Having a child is a massive commitment, it does basically change your life so not something I would enter into lightly. Many people get pregnant by accident and are unprepared for children and end up loving it but to bring a child into the world knowing you don't want to be a parent seems unfair. There are amazing things about being a parent but ultimately you need to be able to always put your children's needs ahead of your own which many people find hard to do. Do you have friends with children you could babysit for a long weekend to get a feel for how it would be at least. My two are 4 and 4 months and I rarely get a lie in or a night of unbroken sleep, our whole lifestyle has changed and some days I miss our old life but the love for my children outweighs that and I knew I wanted them going into it all.

Good luck with whatever you decide but I would say having a child you don't want to please your partner is not a good idea as once the child is there it will require both of you to be a parent so make sure you're sure

I absolutely didn’t like or want children at all but found myself accidentally pregnant at 35 and as DH had been getting broody and we were financially good I didn’t feel able to terminate the pregnancy. Turns out I love being a parent and can’t imagine life without them.
That said, I don’t feel like I’m particularly good at it and I wonder if that’s due to the lack of maternal instinct. I’d worry in your case that as you won’t be the one carrying/giving birth/breastfeeding the baby you won’t overcome the lack of maternal feelings as easily. It’s such hard work and if your heart isn’t really in it, will be harder still. Think long and hard about this op.

I think you would love your child. You life would be very different but we can change. I think only you can say if you’d be happy.

I would say - only have one. In my experience one means you can still do most of the things you want to do, it’s easy to get baby sitters, they don’t financially cripple you, they don’t bicker, you can have lie ins and take things in turns more. More than one and everything has to revolve around the kids 😂