What changed positively for you after becoming a parent?

[cardboardcandle]

Thought this would be interesting just to balance out those negative ‘just wait’ comments … what changed positively for you, confidence/relationship/life outlook wise since becoming a parent?

My marriage got better, deeper. We communicate a lot more effectively because we've had to learn how to quickly.

My relationship with my mum got better, we give each other a lot more grace these days.

I don't sweat the small stuff anymore.

We really spent a lot of time thinking about our values, and the values we want our family to embody and that's guided our parenting and way we live. Sorry that one's a bit abstract but it's been a really good exercise.

It's pretty amazing helping a brand new human develop!

Nice thread idea :)
I genuinely think I’ve learned to become a more positive person. It’s easy to get bogged down if nap time/wake windows etc don’t go to plan but I’ve gradually become more easy going. I always make an effort to look for something good in each day, have something planned to look forward to even if it’s just going to buy a new book or going for a coffee, and am more tuned in with what makes me happy.

• I learnt what unconditional love is

• I found my calling and my reason for living

• I found friendships. I feel like I found my place in the world

• it brought my family closer

• I laugh more and I am silly more

• it made me love myself. Gave up Botox etc and realise I am a fucking goddess the way I am. I made a human!

Honestly NOTHING comes close to the joy and fulfilment of becoming a parent. There are no words. X

Love this xx

Became a lot more organised !

Also, bit of a weird one, I suffered with intense heartburn all my life, used to scoff 96 rennies a week. Since I had DC, heartburn stopped...

It made me understand how the world runs and everything “clicked” a bit more I suppose.

It made me less judgemental and more open and less rigid.

It taught me a lot about myself because children mirror back what they are receiving from you (or not) a lot of the time.

It made me proud (of dc) 🙂

It made me value my creativity and imagination more.

It made me value my mother and other women more.

It broadened my horizons and because we brought our dc up abroad, I learned a whole new language and culture through their eyes.

It brought my dh and I closer together until the teenage years anyway!

It brought me so many new close friendships.

It made me less selfish.

Lovely thread.

Assume you mean other than having the actual kids :-)

For me it’s female friendships. All my mates were blokes because of the course i did at uni and my job. Mum friends are great.

Also being fit. I was always naturally kind of slim before kids and never really did any exercise. Put on looooads of baby weight and had to work out a lot to get it off, and actually found I really enjoyed sport. Never would have done it if I hadn’t had kids

Oh yes less judgemental me too.

Before kids I was that person tutting at children ‘misbehaving’ in public. Now I have a kid with special needs and realise never, ever to judge as you don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes

Believe it or not, I get less stressed about work. Even though it’s every bit as busy as it was pre-kids (if not more so - I’m a lot more senior now), it’s less foundational to my identity. (I probably had an unhealthy attachment to work before… kids put things in perpective, even though I still love and excel at my job)

Also, while kids are a lot of work, they’re also SO MUCH FUN. Mine are 6, 4, 2 now. I feel like we’re out of the baby blur now, and they’re quirky, joyful, and fun to be around.

For me it made my life feel more meaningful. Obviously before I had ds I found meaning in my career/business but once I had him life as a whole became more meaningful - because raising him to be a good human being felt like it would be of greater purpose.

I also became much more empathetic than I was before. I never used to cry at movies/books, but now cry at stupid adverts!

In no particular order ...

• I met some lovely new friends through a baby group

• I enjoy exercise more and look for opportunities to do it rather than stressing that I ought to have done more/be better at it already

• I'm less of a perfectionist, so have a better work/life balance and feel less anxious about stuff outside of my control

• I have a deeper understanding of community ties and the way that small, local community organisations can bring so much meaning and value to people's lives

• I am much less embarrassed about doing stupid stuff in public

• I try to eat healthier so that I can share most of my food with DS

• I have a much greater appreciation for my MiL, who was endlessly kind and understanding when she met our 3 month old colicky and teething DS for the first time

• I am generally more organized and less of a procrastinator

I never again felt that my life was pointless.

It meant an end to years of soul destroying infertility.

DD is for the most part an absolute joy and I love having a house full of toys and a fridge covered in pictures.

I really appreciate the me time I get now and date nights with my husband as they’re much rarer.

I’m learning more about myself by seeing who I am as a mum.

So many more, I’m grateful every day for her.

The kids are amazing, they make life an absolute joy and they crack me up.

As a pp said, I get less stressed about work.

My DH and I really love sharing our thoughts about the kids and I love seeing him as a father, he was born to it.

I've made some good friends through school.

I call my mum every day now, I love seeing her as a grandparent, and I'm also closer to my stepmum, who has been an absolute legend with the kids.

And, um, having kids put the brakes on a slippery slope of party lifestyle and self sabotage that was getting out of hand. Thanks nippers!

It has been so good for my confidence. Having two little people who adore me and think I am the best thing ever has done wonders for my self-esteem.

I am less selfish. I have had to sacrifice a lot for my DC (as we all do) and I have got better at putting other people's needs first.

I am less stressed about work, simply because I don't have time to think about it when I am with my kids.

I am truly, truly grateful and appreciative of my free time and nice adult experiences. Even my commute to work is "me" time and I look forward to it nowadays.

And for the first time ever, I don't compare myself to others and find myself wanting. I love my DC with all my heart and am convinced I've got the Best Ones. Which is a revelation for someone who has compared and despaired all her life so far.

I'm fatter, poorer and more tired, but all of those things are trivial in comparison to what I've gained.

Felt much more connected to the community. When I was growing up didn’t really have that, nor as a young adult. Then with kids I started making friends/acquaintances all over the place.

Emotional self-control and regulation.

Before kids I had a customer-facing role where I often had to deal with angry people and found it very stressful. I'm pretty sure the same situations would barely register now.

It made me take my career more seriously.

Hmmm good question. Other than loving my child and having this amazing new little human in my life then I don't really have a list of positive changes. Life was already great before having a child and it's still really great.

I guess I've realised how lucky we are to have really family support and loads of people who absolutely love and adore our child (and happily provide loads of babysitting). I've also made great new mum friends but that's been balanced out by drifting away from some older friends.

Oh I've reduced my work hours using parental leave so I work 30 hours a week now instead of 39. It's the perfect balance between work and life for me and I wouldn't have gotten granted these hours without the parental leave!

You can go to kid's places like the park, go on the swings; days out at kiddy places/ zoos, farms, go on bouncy castles

Watching kids films and TV

Discovering toys again

I've rediscovered my inner child

I don't binge drink, or self harm anymore because I want my daughter to have a stable, happy childhood. She is my absolute number one priority. I will not let her childhood be like mine. I have to keep myself well for her. She has given me something to live for.

I became more confident and assertive.

I made really good friends with other mums met at the schools.

I've learned to put better boundaries in place

I take care of my health better

I have slowed down from the stressful work I was doing before

I live in the moment now, watching my sons delight as a balloon bounces about or as the wind blows in the leaves is such a good reminder to be mindful x

Exact same here except MIL