Being slagged off by DDs family, feeling down

[Babygirlmum]

I am waiting on a letter to attend court with DDs father, however I have been allowing him to have her over night which is what he originally wanted, he hasn't been in her life since she was born however that is for another story, I might sound picky but I found out DD was staying in a room with his parents which I had a go at him for as if she wakes up in the night he isn't going to be there for her, am I being picky by doing this? last weekend he dropped her home he lives nearly two hours away, and he basically started saying stuff to me in which I new they had been slagging me off like Dd is to big for the pram, it's a doona and is convenient for the car, she also has a bigger pram but this is what she went in, they said she shouldn't have the same dummy she has a dummy for comfort I don't see any wrong in that, they said a few nasty things and I feel like it's to get at me, my ex has now blocked me and expects to see DD after blocking me, when I can't stay in contact with his mother as she has been slagging me off and I now feel very uncomfortable, I have not long lost my dad and they know I am going through a bad time and all as they want to do is abuse my vulnerability and use it as a excuse to get at me knowing I'm down and unable to do everything, what do people think about this?

Hey there, there are quite a few elements here so I'll try respond accordingly.

1. It's great that you are giving access in advance of court, it's ultimately in your daughters best interest and will stand to you in court.

2. Regarding your daughter sleeping in grandparents room, presumably her father lives with his parents? If so, I don't think there's much you can do. Fathers access is his choice what to do and who to see. Unless there are safeguarding issues, I wouldn't suggest fighting this. He's obviously a newish father and probably needs the help.

3. Re the size of the buggy, I'm not sure what age your daughter is, but is she outgrowing the Doona? Convenience shouldn't trump safety. If she is outgrowing you can simply say "Yes, I have the next size up and you can take that going forward". If she still safely fits the guidelines for the doona, your response simply needs to be "I monitor the safety guidelines regularly and there are no issues with sizing right now. Happy for you to provide your own apparatus going forward".

4. The slagging and negativity whilst not nice and upsetting unfortunately often comes with separation. If he is being nasty etc at exchanges, simply contact him and tell him all communication is via text or email if he cannot be civil.

5. If he blocks you, and you do not have a court order, then do not allow your daughter to go with him. Its very worrying as I presume your daughter is quite young.

This is such excellent advice, all of it. Just hold your head high and be calm as you navigate this.