Negative thought and talk in child

[Weal]

My 9 year old is increasingly becoming more negative, both in general and when talking to/about other people.

Anyone else experience this or have suggestions about how to combat it?

An example of this is- he asked me what I thought my best skill was and I replied swimming. Then he says “you’re not even that good at that are you. Not better than most people”.

Another example- his younger sister gave me a picture with some writing on. I praised her writing and he said “you haven’t spelt most of it right right”.

is it a lack of self confidence thing?

Sounds like he doesn’t have much understanding about the impact of his words on people’s feelings.

Is he like this in school and with friends or just at home and with close family? This is important as it shows whether he can control it or is only saying brutal/ unkind things to those he’s close to. Is he looking for a reaction?

I’d be starting to explain quietly after the event how his words can help e.g. “You know what you said about my swimming? How do you think that made me feel? “
Talk about giving compliments and praise and what might be unkind or hurtful.
If he persists I’d look at Think it don’t say it Use visuals of a thought bubble 💭 and speech bubble or 👄 and sort statements between the two. You can then use Think it don’t say it as a prompt or reminder.

He is like it at school too. I don’t think it happens as much at school as they play rather than hall but I’ve heard him say a few corkers to his friends.

I tried talking to him about that flame analogy. How we can help each other feel better (flame shine brighter) rather than worse.

I have wondered if there is an element of social difficulties coming in to play, in that he is just blunt and not understanding how it feels for the other person to have that comment. His comments are always an accurate relation of his opinion rather than said out of spite.

I’ll look up think it don’t say it. Thanks for the suggestion.