Stop at one child?

[Faintoplant]

Recently had dd at 36. Before I had her I liked the idea of one child only due to finances, easier to fit in and each parent can still have 'me' time while other one looks after baby etc and my opinión on this hasn't really changed since she was born.

However there's a part of me that wonders about a sibling. I'd love a little boy but I would have to try for number 2 within next two years as wouldn't want to do another pregnancy after 39/40. Obvs no guarantee for certain gender and the thought of two very small children is a lot. In an ideal world I'd have had a 4-5 year gap with 2 but I started a bit too late.

I know fertility can be an issue too although conceived dd very quickly and also had good results in fertility mot a year ago. My pregnancy was generally OK although it does take its toll on your body - I'm not sure I'd want to put my body through it all again just as I'm properly recovered.

I don't have to decide right now but I keep mulling it over as I feel I have short window of time to decide if this is it or if I'll do it all again in a couple of years. It's such a big decision - will I regret choice in 10 years etc

Anyone decide to stop at one and happy with decision? Or went for second knee?

@katem98 Thank you 😊. I'm sure it will get better in time, am just right in the midst of it at the moment! I'm really wanting the baby to sit, walk etc so he can engage more with my toddler. He loved the baby initially though he's a bit more put out and clingy lately, but he's a loving boy and I'm sure that will change when he gets a bit back from the baby. Can definitely imagine a nice relationship developing as they get older.

I'm so happy with stopping at one. He's 1 yo now.

I feel comfort in knowing he will have everything he needs without us struggling to provide for him. Daycare fees? Not too bad if only paying them once. Help with University? Sure - it's not like we'll have to fork out £ 2-3 times.

I'm excited to take him on nice holidays, to go on skiing trips. I'm happy that I won't be a frazzled mum as I would be with 2-3 kids. I'm so glad that I can continue with my hobbies (yoga, running), that I get decent sleep every night.

I have a sibling and my life in no way 'better' because of it. Some of the most meaningful relationships I have are from my lifelong friendships.

I occasionally think wistfully about having another DC, but 99 days out of 100 I am very happy to have just the one. I think most people end up happy with whatever they decide, just make sure you don't waste years stressing about the decision.

I wouldn't worry at all about age gaps. There is 7 yes between me and my sister and we have always been incredibly close. To be honest that's the one thing I feel guilty about, that dd won't have an adult sibling relationship. But then my brother and I aren't close (despite small age gap) so there's no guarantee either way.