Are some toddlers more ‘wilful’ than others? And if so how do you deal with them?

[User41]

So my little girl is 2 years and 9 months and is a confident, funny and cheerful child. But my god she knows her own mind. Every task is a battle. Teeth, getting dressed, eating, getting into car seats, getting her to walk in the direction I want to go, meals bath, bedtime. All of it.

I try so many tactics but she will fight something to the bitter end.

Do you think some toddlers are more strong willed than others? If so how do you deal with it?

I go through so many tactics and half the time find we end up in a battle. E.g like leaving the park I go through all my strategies and then we just end up having to drag her out kicking and screaming

DS was like this. We had to turn everything into a game. Instead of saying let’s brush your teeth we would put the toothpaste on and say ‘let’s brush your toes…make sure your toes are nice and clean’ so he’d laugh and think it was funny. We’d ramp it up with a ‘oh I can see that little toe at the back isn’t sparkling’ so we could get him to open wide to brush the back.
Getting dressed we would call everything the wrong name so, for example, putting socks on feet was me putting them on saying ‘let’s get your gloves on’. Anything to make him laugh and keep him in a happy and playful mood.
Getting out of the park might be a ‘let’s see who’s fastest’ or ‘I’m going to beat you to the gate’. It meant I’d have to playfully run but it was far better than the kicking and screaming. I once had to horsey him out of a soft play place on my back, jumping and bucking like an idiot but it got him out.

It turns out he has ADHD/ASD but making games out of everything helped to get him to do things without meltdowns.

@PernickityKitty I tried the getting dressed suggestion this morning and it worked really well thank you 🙏

im going to try the ideas for leaving the park next time we’re there. I also one read article suggesting that you could show them a picture of where they’re going next/what’s happening next. Will see how it goes!

Glad to know it’s not just me who has faced these challenges anyway!!

My DS is exactly like this. He is very strong willed and wants to do everything on his own, in his own way and in his own time. I too like the above person said have made things into a game for him. Leaving the park for example I'll say "I'll race you, let's see who wins" or when you said walking in the same direction as you I'd say "ok, well we will walk this way today (which is the right direction) and tomorrow we will walk your way" it's about giving them 2 options both of which are acceptable to you. So that way your DD will think she's chosen her way and she's got her own way. I personally think it's great that our children are strong willed :)