Second baby and my mental health is crashing

[PlantFoood]

I’ve just had my second baby. I did not cope at all with DC1 as a baby. They were extremely challenging (reflux, colic, none sleeper, breastfeeding failure, cried near continuously for the first 6 months no matter the situation) and I was on my own aside from my wonderful DH. I suffered severe depression which required medication. DC1 improved a lot at the 1 year mark and, at 3 years, I’d stopped my antidepressants and forgotten enough that we decided for another. Baby is now here and I am drowning in anxiety. Every cry makes me cry that the bad times are going to happen again. I regularly can’t catch my breath for worry about approaching 2 weeks and the colic starting up. I can’t eat for worry about potential allergens leading to CMPA or similar. Breastfeeding is going better this time but I hyperventilate before every feed. I miss the life we had with just 1 and my job. I probably need to go back on the antidepressants but I feel like such a failure and I don’t want to stop breastfeeding. Sorry, no questions but I’m just gutted I haven’t got this sorted. I promised myself it would be different this time and I can’t breathe for worry.

@PlantFoood Oh my goodness. I could have written your post, honestly! But I promise you it gets better! I had breastfeeding challenges but had to stick with it as my little one refused a bottle (really wanted to combi feed with formula) but things started turning a corner once we sleep trained about 5.5-6 months and weaning onto solids has recently clicked so feeds have reduced massively (but moving up centiles so he’s getting what he needs). My first was like yours but I have to remind myself that they are different babies and what happened before won’t necessarily happen again. Are you getting some time to yourself or can you can get your partner or family to have the kids for a bit whilst you sleep or rest? Xxx