Disinterested Grandparents

[Solongmarianne92]

DH and I have recently had our first baby and she’s now 12 weeks. I’m an only child and my mum has been asking for grandchildren for as long as I can remember (even from being a teenager and not in a stable relationship etc.)
Now we’ve had DD my mum regularly asks after her via text, but when we visit each other (we’re around 4 hours away by car) my mum shows no interest in DD, doesn’t want to hold her unless she’s asleep, and if DD is at all unsettled, my mum doesn’t try to soothe her, just hands her back and makes no attempts to interact with her at all when she is settled.
She seems very uncomfortable with DD and holds her awkwardly, to the point we’ve been concerned my mum will drop her.
I send my mum regular photos and updates and when we’re together I encourage her to hold her/ interact etc. but she seems to have minimal interest after being so desperate for grandchildren.
Has anyone else experienced this? I’d appreciate any advice on how to improve things too.

Thanks 😊

Anybody?

My MIL was like this for a while but over time she got more and more comfortable. Some people find small babies awkward to deal with. Give her time and patience. It will come.

Is your mum not used to children? My mum is very very interested in our 2 boys but seems to struggle on how to interact with them. She's not used to being around children but they're 2 and 3 now so she's learning!

Sometimes people have a preferred stage of children. I know my mum isn't a 'baby person'. Maybe when your mum envisaged wanting grandchildren the image in her head was taking them to the park or baking with them or something like that. The baby part is only a very small part of their little lives and you may find once your DD reaches a different age, your mum comes into her own with her. All you can do is keep that contact going and hopefully that bond will develop. For what it's worth, once my DD was about 3, my mum has been brilliant with her.

My parents were the same, really kept on at becoming GP then when they did, all they wanted to do was take baby out in pram around their neighbourhood. I left baby with them for 2 hours whilst I went to a funeral, all was good, but they literally walked him outside the whole time. Next time I left him for an hour, when I picked him up he was still crying in his sleep, so must have cried a really long time. After that I never left him with them and they never asked to have him, instead they came round once a week. They did love both my DC but looking after them was beyond them, they loved watching them, but practically they were useless. My MIL who was a workaholic and a single mum from when my DH was born turned out to be wonderful with my DC, she asked if she could come round most night after work and she even went part time so I could return to work.