Breastfeeding! When did your older toddlers stop?

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I’m eager to know people’s experiences with older toddlers weaning themselves fully off. I have 2 DDs. One is 3 next month and one is 5 months old almost. My eldest only now feeds to sleep and has some in the morning, non in the night and non in the day. I felt like we could have maybe gone for the full wean before baby came but I liked the idea of tandem feeding but DD1 has become a lot more intense about it and it took a lot of effort to get her back down to just these 2 feeds. I want to wean her as I don’t really enjoy feeding her anymore but I feel like weaning her while ebf’ing my little one would just be mean when she’s so attached to it. If you fed for this long when did your little one’s self wean? What are your experiences/tips. TIA

I didn't quite make it this far with any of my 3. Mine all weaned at about 2.5. Caused by hot summer heatwave - they really didn't want to snuggle up at bedtime as it was uncomfortably sweaty so they wanted a cold drink instead.

Feeding to sleep is a tough one to drop. Can you move it a bit earlier in the bedtime routine and see how that goes? I found moving it to pre-story meant they rapidly decreased the duration over a couple of weeks until they were barely latching on before they rolled off for story.

I bf til dc had just turned 3. Dc didn't self wean but I had had enough at that point. I also didn't have baby so slightly different to you. Dc was obsessed with bf. I just told dc that booby said they were to big for bf now and that worked. I still let dc cuddle booby as it was a comfort to them.

Thanks guys! I feel I could do the whole “boobs are empty now” thing if I didn’t have a younger baby. Some nights DH isn’t home for bedtime so I have to feed both at the same time so moving the feed earlier in the bedtime routine then saying no to DD1 but feeding DD2 at the same time just did not work, I tried it for about 2 weeks and it was awful. Just hoping she might wean herself eventually because I feel horrible saying no when literally sat there with a boob in use 🤦🏻‍♀️

Firstly - wow, you're doing a fantastic job. To have fed dd1 throughout a whole pregnancy with dd2 then them both for 5 months, that deserves the biggest well done from me x

I only have one milk monster who'll be 2 in sept so following for advice on weaning toddlers

But again, just wow. What a mum you are x

My eldest is nearly 3 and my youngest is nearly 1. They both still breastfeed so much. If anything, the older one is more bothered than my youngest!
I think as long as my eldest can see me breastfeed, she'll always have that reminded so she'll never want to quit haha. So I'm thinking I will wean them both together. I'm very over breastfeeding, which feels harsh on my youngest but I don't know what else will work!

@zooopta thank you! God that made me feel a bit emotional haha

@crostini i feel you here. I’ve considered that too! My second is definitely more chill than my first but got at this rate I’ll feel feeding a 6 year old 😂

I’ve got a 3yo and 1yo who both feed. Eldest has been cut down to just one feed a day for a while now.

I’m planning on weaning her next month but I’ll keep feeding her brother. I’m going to tell her that “Her milk” is all gone because she’s had 3 years but her brothers is still there because he’s only 1. No idea if she’ll buy it or not but I think if I left her to her own devices she’d still be feeding 10 times a day and would go on for years which I just don’t want to do.

Whatever the tantrum is I’ll treat it like anything else, validate feelings, offer comfort and hold firm on the boundary. I’ll probably do a calendar countdown to the last feed for a week or so to help prepare her.

Thanks for posting OP, I only have one who will be 2 next month, and wondering when and how to stop. I love her and she likes it but I kinda want my body to be mine for a while (especially as we're ttc)

@SamanthaVimes thats not a bad idea. Letting her know hers has finished could work, I really hope it works for you! I’m sure there would be push back no matter what we try at this point, just have to stick to those boundaries as hard as it might be! Good luck with it lovely.

@Hidingawaytoday i know how you feel, I know I’ll be feeding my new little one for a while more yet but that feeling of having my body back is something I look forward to too

My kids stopped feeding at;

2yrs 6mo (because they had an attack of the giggles about boobs and never came back to feed)
2yrs 9mo (because "there's no milk left, mummy")
4yrs 4mo (because "your boobies have forgotten me" - my milk had dried up during a miscarriage)
3yrs 3mo (because they just stopped asking)

DS1 was 4y3m, I don't know what triggered him to stop, he just went from bedtime only to a couple of sucks at bedtime about once a week and then he stopped asking at all.

DS2 was 2.5yo and I had just cut down all but sleep time and then he stopped needing it to go to sleep and then he started sleeping through, so no more BF.

DS3 is nearly 2 and I wouldn't mind if he stopped soon but I also don't mind him carrying on. He only really has it at bedtime now, sometimes after nursery.

I just weaned DD2 at 26 months because I was starting to lose the plot. It was surprisingly easy and it only took her under a week to even stop asking. If I’d have waited for her to self wean I would likely have still been waiting at age 3+ and I’m pregnant with DC3 so I thought, nope, not for me. It’s better for us both, she’s not waking up 10 times a night looking for milk and she’s less clingy in general.

I didn’t feed as long as you. I stopped when my eldest turned 2 and I was due a second child in a few months as felt I needed my breasts/body back a little before I fed the newborn.

My second is now over one with no signs of stopping and my 3.5 year old is very much still attached to the idea of my breasts. He will ask for them to hold or touch when he wants comfort. He tried occasionally after my daughter was born to feed, but then laughed and so I think the actual desire to feed had gone naturally, he just missed the emotional side of being connected in that way. I don’t stop him from wanting this connection as I imagine he will eventually grow out of it .

I think if you are happy feeding both still and they are happy. Then continue. But if you want to wean then giving alternative drinks or saying there’s none left, but they can cuddle is a nice option.

I'll add with DS2 I was pregnant and having awful nursing aversion so really not happy about the sensation and I wanted him to stop.

Then I kind of liked having stopped earlier. I didn't particularly have any problem with feeding DS1 so long, but I think the experience of weaning DS2 made me realise that I didn't have to wait for him to stop and he would have been fine if I had made the decision for him.

Thank you everyone for the more recent messages, it’s so interesting to see when people’s older babies just lost interest and why. I thought she might have during pregnancy with DD2 but nope. Seeing that a few went until 4 is a little reassuring as it’s not something you always see so I sometimes feel like I’m going too long if that makes sense! I’ll see how we get on and if she starts to loose interest herself over the next few months then maybe look at weaning her if I still feel like I’m not enjoying it anymore

Ds was 5 but it was about once a week at that point, he started skipping days at 3.

Here's our journey:

• mixed fed, mainly breast (for reasons that aren't worth explaining) untill somewhere between 6-8 months when bottles were refused.
• partially night weaned at 15 months, retaining post 4am feed. Still fed on demand during the day
• stopped feeding to sleep around 16/17 months as it didn't always work so just gave him a gentle nudge and switched the routine around so feed cane before stories. Cuddled and sang to sleep instead. I'd already been singing those songs at bedtime since he was tiny.
• around 2 restricted to 5am feed, morning feed, after nap feed and bedtime feed.
• around 2 years and 3 months dropped all feeds apart from bedtime
• shortly before 2.5 years dropped the bedtime feed. Told him a week before it was happening and ķept telling him how many were left and reminded him on the day. He was a bit upset the first night of no feed, but honestly no worse than when we make him get out of the bath and he doesn't want to. Next day asked for it but accepted it wasn't happening. Then entirely no fuss at all.

I did it really slow which seems to be what you've done too. I think maybe dropping the last feeds won't be as hard as you imagine, it wasn't for us. The first night weaning and the dropping to only a bedtime feed were the hardest stages, but that was really only hard for a few days or so each time.

Both of my DC self weaned at around 2.5 years. I actually think both times my milk dried up and they just gave up. Hence why it might be harder for you as this obviously will not be the case.