Chickenpox etiquette

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I just got an email that there have been 3 cases of chicken pox in my baby's room at nursery. We are going to a 1 year old birthday party from our anti-natal group tomorrow where there will be other 1 year olds who have probably not been infected or vaccinated against chicken pox yet.

What is the etiquette in this situation? Is it OK to go if DD doesn't have any spots? In theory she could be contagious without spots if she is incubating it but I'm not sure what the likelyhood of this is. Would you ask the other parents if it is OK or is it a non-issue? All are back at work now so I'm sure no one would appreciate having to take a week off work.

I'm hoping DD will escape this time as I already have an appointment to get her vaccinated but I guess it is quite contagious and 3 unrealated cases suggests exposure at nursery.

Personally it wouldn’t have occurred to me to change plans if my DC didn’t have spots but if you’re worried you could message the host and see what they say

Although probably the reason I say that I’d because my DD didn’t get it when it was going round either school or nursery on 2 separate occasions

My eldest daughter was in full time nursery from 3.5m until she started school at nearly 5, you can imagine the amount of outbreaks there were and she had every opportunity to catch it. She eventually got it at about 4yrs old. I had got to the point I thought she might be immune!

So provided your child is well and no spots I think you have to get on with it because there's no guarantee when she may get it.

No spots then you’re clear to go- I think since covid we all think everything is carrying without showing

Chickenpox is highly infectious and you are infectious for several days before the rash appears. If 3 unrelated kids in her room have come down with it, I would say there is more chance that your DD is about break out in spots than not.

You absolutely should ask/tell the other parents. It's a party for 1 year olds so I would guess that there may well be someone there who is pregnant but hasn't announced it yet.

Nobody "thinks", medical science knows chickenpox is infectious for several days before the rash appears, @OnlyFoolsnMothers .

Out of interest, is it now more normal in the UK to vaccinate against chicken pox? Genuine curiosity here. I have a 6yo and we didn't vaccinate. Child did however manage to catch chicken pox during a full covid lockdown period (absolutely no idea how, off a shopping trolley or something?!) yet avoided outbreaks at nursery before that.
Also think you're fine btw to go to the party if your child is well and spot free. The pre-warning sign for us for chicken pox was general irritability/signs they were coming down with something. I think if they had a mild temperature or seemed "off" then maybe you'd ask the host before going?

• or maybe the general malaise would be the sign not to go at all. Again, no harm in asking the host.

You're overthinking. You can't put your plans on hold every time your kid has been near an infectious illness. You'd never go anywhere.

Can you move up your vaccine appointment? Even if given post exposure it still works and if it doesn’t stop it completely it can massively reduce the severity.

Generally speaking I wouldn’t cancel plans, because let’s face it nursery age kids have more often than not been exposed to something nasty, but in this case I might because it’s summer holiday time and given it’s all 1YOs your DD won’t realise she’s missed out and the other kids won’t miss her.

DD was exposed to LOADs in her first year at nursery, I felt like I had emails daily about something she had been exposed to.

If your DC appears healthy I wouldnt hesitate to go because as above, I would not go anywhere if I had to isolate every single time I got a 'Your child may have been exposed' email!

As someone who shelved 2 weeks of plans, at a financial cost and not in the best interests of my children, when there was an outbreak in my daughter’s class because she was ‘definitely contagious’. Only for my daughter to not get it. I say life is too short!

Sorry pressed send too soon. If there’s no spots then go to the party 😊

I'd message the host. It might be they'd delighted to have you there because they want their kid to get them but with potentially pregnant mums at a party like that I'd be cautious.

I'd be cautious with this, the nursery have given you pre-warning.

Thanks all for your thoughts, plenty to think about! A few mixed opinions but mostly in favour of going I see. I guess I have become a bit more cautious about passing on germs since Covid, especially around other people with babies since I know how miserable it can be to have a sick baby. If we were only meeting other adults I wouldn't worry as much as I would assume most people had it in childhood (but good point about someone potentially being pregnant).

DD is actually very irritable today but she has been teething badly for the last week as well as having a bit of a cold so the irritibility might just be down to those things.

The chicken pox vaccine is not given as a standard in the UK but I've opted to get it privately to spare DD what can be an unpleasant illness and one which can occasionally cause long term problems like shingles. Also might spare me time off work but that's not the main reason. I don't know if we can bring it forward as there are meant to be 30 days between the MMR and chicken pox vaccines and she only had the MMR 2 weeks ago.

My son had an MMRV vaccine - so all at once - might be worth giving whoever you're getting to do your vaccines a ring and asking if the 30 days is fixed in stone or not

The 4 weeks thing is fixed unfortunately. It’s either on the same day as, so either all in one with MMRV or even given as 2 separate shots is also fine, but if it’s not done together then you have to wait 4 weeks.

Message the host if you're worried but I think it's fine. The incubation period for chickenpox is up to 3 weeks, you can't avoid people for the whole time.

We had plenty of warnings like this and my children didn’t get it. I had shingles with the blisters on my face, they still didn’t get it. And then did randomly from an unknown source. Just be vigilant for spots but don’t cancel all plans for an eventuality that may not happen.