Advice needed

[incognito786]

So I’ve been living with my in laws for three years. There was no problem till my kids came along. After my daughter within the first few days everyone became overbearing to the point I had no attachment to my daughter:

They would just hold her all the time to the point where I would say no and they would continue to do so. It got that bad that my daughter would rather go to them then come to me. She’d only come to me if she needed soemthing or was upset. There was always comments about how small she was and almost telling me what to do.

Then I got pregnant again and my little boy came and the same they’re telling me what to do. She speaks in my behalf she tells everyone what’s going on with my kids. I’ll be talking to my daughter and she’ll talk over me to make her come to her: today my daughter came tk me as she seeks comfort in my hair. And I was busy with my boy but that’s never an issue as I let her slip behind me and play. What she’ll do is tell her to come tk her and play with her hair. It’s almost as though she’s taking over and I’m scared to death my kids will love her more than me. Is that possible: like my daughter does go tk hee but she’ll kiss and cuddle me the most and seek comfort with me rather than anyone else/

And after my daughter I developed post natal depression. Just some background.

Is there a chance she could favour her. Like she comes to me if she’s upset or whatever but my mother in law just butts in to everything. My son has eczema and he’s scratched himself so today she looks at his nails and says looks how long they are. They’re literally not there

No, your daughter loves you most - it’s evident when she seeks you out for love and comfort.
it must be hard in a busy house and with overbearing in laws. Do you have a plan to get your own place?

Non at all! We won't be moving out.

I just need my kids to who know mum is and to love me

Well take comfort that they do. They often show the least interest in their mum as they know she’s always there and can depend on you. Everyone else is just interesting! You’re their world

It’s not going to change UNLESS you move out. You are living with in-laws and they won’t change in their own environment and shouldn’t be expected to. What you could do for now is to say “Please don’t undermine me with DD.” POLITELY every time this happens, while reminding them frequently that you appreciate their help.

@Unhappymum123 - you need to write your own thread, Babe.

Your daughter loves you most, you're her mum and that means a lot. Long term though I'd be worried about the ILs influencing your DC and undermining you when your DC are tweens and teens. Your ILs doesn't respect you as a mother. I'll bet Mil will undermine you at every opportunity, encourage DC to do what they want and support them against you. The behaviour your ILs are displaying will be damaging to your relationship with your kids. Years of this will effect how your DC perceive you, they'll undermine you, they already are. Long term I expect this will have a big impact on your relationship with your Dc. It's not something I'd ever want to risk, I would be doing everything I can to move out in the next couple of years.

Sorry new to this