It's not really surprising that not everyone in the whole world loves having their lives turned upside down by small humans completely and relentlessly reliant on them for survival, emotional attachment and entertainment for 18 years. Some people realise this before they have kids and decide it's not for them. Other people don't realise this until after they have kids and have three choices:
- Give the kid(s) up for adoption
- Neglect the kid(s), in any combination of physical, emotional or financial neglect and in varying levels of overt nastiness
- Accept that they have a responsibility to the kids and work out how they can do the best they can.
If you don't want 1 or 2, I suggest consciously working out how to do 3. If you're not at work, put childcare in place to go back and have defined time in a role that isn't mummy. If the children's father is around, take up a hobby/gym class and reciprocate leaving eachother to it for two evenings a week. Agree one day a week where you each get a lie-in, and one day each a month where you have the day to yourselves. If he's not around, would a family member babysit once every couple of weeks? Could you do a childcare swap once a month with another single mum? Take the children out of the house as much as possible - they're much easier to entertain when you're at the park/beach/library/woods/stay & play etc. At home, work out what you like doing and what you don't, e.g. I decided very early on that I paid nursery a lot of money to do painting and glitter with the DC and I didn't have to do it at home too.
If you have the cash, outsource as much life admin as possible so you're not ground down by that as well.
If it's getting all too much for you, seek help from your partner, family, friends, health visitor or GP. Anti-depressants can tide you over if you're really on your knees. Counselling can give you an outlet and help you put together your own coping strategy.
Your DC are really little. Try to remember that children grow up. The baby, toddler and small child stages don't last forever. Long days, short weeks. Soon they will be more independent and less relentlessly in need of attention. You'll find the stage you like. Good luck.