Child dads gets his parents/ family to watch him on his time

[Anonymous644778]

looking to see if this is unreasonable, Childs dad takes him 2 nights a week while I work so i drop so. off at 5pm on a Thursday and picked up on a Saturday about 2pm, but recently found out he barely sees son on his days he has him, he has his sister takes him the Friday or his parents so he really only sees him a couple hours the Thursday/Friday before bedtime and morning on the sat before I collect him, I have said to his parents that they shouldn’t be letting him pan his son off because he can’t be arsed or has the gym when he has all week to do that and should spend time with his son but they said it isn’t panning the child off as they are his grandparents , I was thinking of dropping his contact to one day a week and then offering his parents or sister if they want to see our son they can come to me and ask which I’d happily let them, is it unreasonable to do this?

Why not?

He refuses to pay, and gave up a long time ago asking him to help pay towards his son

This is how it went with me then he argued with one family member so he changed to another then first family died so he didn't see the kids much due to him "grieving" then second family died and same again barely saw his children again blaming "grief" (from the outside his life continues as normal he was just going out with his girlfriend and not contacting his children) then he tried seeing them again (after the whole pandemic break) by that time only eldest ds wanted to know after being messed about some more and yet another death and grief scenario eldest ds has not bothered with him for most of this year tbh he just gave up I always said your supposed to love your kids more than you hate each other (thanks judge judy) however he seems to find the most bizarre ways of blaming me for things that I've no control over (apparently covid is my way of stopping him seeing the kids despite me encouraging him to still see them and HE REFUSED)

Kids see them for who they are in the end ds has sympathy for him but not enough to spend time with him

No. You can't decrease contact because his family are involved in his contact time unless you have concerns about the suitability of his family to care for him.

It is unfortunate that the dad isn't that interested in the relationship, but building relationships with other loving adults is equally important. You're talking about making it more difficult for his grandparents to be a constant reliable presence in his life. That's not going to be good for him.
It's the difference between him looking back and saying my dad wasn't too interested in me and saying the whole of that side side of the family weren't too interested. He may have great memories made with his grandad that you could inadvertently deprive him of.

I didn't have a mum but my nan was everything to me growing up (along with my dad). Parental figures don't have to be in those exact 2 roles.