3 year old won't stay in bed anymore

[Astronaut1298]

Hi all

Since the time change, our 3 year old has been refusing to go to bed until it's dark outside. We have blackout curtains etc but she knows it's not dark.

If she does happen to get into bed at 9.30pm, she will keep coming out and saying different things like "i need a teddy to sleep with today" or "my eye hurts, can I sit on the sofa?" Or "I would like some juice". We do give her water/snack when she asks, and we do bring her teddy and say "here, now it's time to sleep" but i'm guessing we are making it worse because she knows it's delaying her sleep

5 year old son gets woken up by her too and then he won't go back to sleep for a good few hours

Any advice on how we can manage this? Last night she was awake at 11pm, then at 2am and then at 4am asking for all sorts

What methods have you tried OP? That’s a hell of a lot of pissing about of an evening.

You've probably tried this but - don't engage. No chatting, no eye contact, no reasoning with her. Just "bedtime now" and take her straight back to bed every single time. It will work eventually!

So far we have

• ignored her completely which then leads to her crying and waking our son up

• given her what she asks for to see if that works (big mistake i've now realised)

We will do as suggested now and keep putting her back in, no reasoning or chatting. Fingers crossed it's just a phase

It will almost certainly be a phase. I would also think about a reward chart with stickers or a gem jar for not getting out of bed during the night. Lots of praise. Ignoring the spurious reasons for exiting her room and marching her back silently as pp said. I’m afraid she might well cry and wake everyone at first but she has to learn that you won’t give in because of that.

Don't engage. Suck up the crying for a few nights, she'll soon realise - and this is coming from experience. DS was using every trick in the book and engaging made it worse as he knew it was working! He was going to bed later and later and waking more frequently, then waking up early and refusing to lie down even though he was exhausted. It was a power thing for the most part I think.

I didn't leave him to get hysterical or anything, but I was very firm that it was bed time and he wouldn't be getting any of the things he asked for. Made sure he had a drink before bed, plenty to eat etc.

We also got the Tommee tippee owl clock which worked really well as he could tell by the colour it wasn't time to get up yet. Good luck!

It's summer holidays so the perfect time to address it

Up to you how you do it but I'd
-do a ⭐️ chart for each child showing great behaviour when going to bed.
-be more stubborn than your child, it will take a good few nights.
-make sure she has a drink of water in her room, she's had a snack, the teddies are there etc
-the just take her by the hand and tuck her in bed.
-make it so boring, no conversation just 'it's bedtime'

How do people suck up crying with child that gets really extreme? My 3 year old also doesn’t settle, but the odd time we have tried leaving him a few minutes he either holds his breathe and passes out, or cry’s and starts full on panic attach hyperventilating. He’s done this any time from about 6 months to now. And within about 2 mins of us trying to leave him to sleep.
so we end up staying or him in our bed and either way takes hours

Thank you all for these suggestions! The Star chart/jar is a great idea, we will get one of those

Will also keep bedtime as boring as we can and stick to no chatting and being firm regardless of the crying. You're right even if it wakes everyone it's got to be done consistently 🙂

Hi all just wanted to thank you once again for your suggestions and i'm pleased to say they worked! Dd has been getting into bed on time and staying in bed without any excuses. The Star Chart helped loads, and we no longer entertain her by getting her this that and the other each time. First night or 2 there were tears, but all sorted now :)

Good news OP!