When did you start your baby on a routine

[AdrianeMole]

What age did you manage to start a sleep routine?

@Reugny

Not sure why some parents don't understand that babies are individuals like they are...

Well most babies do go into a routine at nursery & then toddlers & school age children do too. So it's obviously something that generally works as everyone knows where they are. You can still be an individual with a routine 🤷🏻‍♀️

@RampantIvy

Do these parents BF feed on demand or stick to rigid times and bottle feed?

Bottle fed & no they weren't left hungry & rarely cried. They don't get over hungry or over tired with a routine.

Mine were all bf on demand, co-slept. Rarely had a disturbed night. They just helped themselves!

How did you do that??!

Around 4 months with both of mine. Maybe slightly earlier with the second but not considerably so. By routine to me that just means bath, bottle and bed in a dark room.

I think from two months ish, my dd was a very unsettled baby and in desperation I bought the Gina ford book. Started on the routine the next day and never looked back.

Saved my sanity and dd was much happier, slept better and more settled generally.

Mine all went it to routine of sorts from day one.
I had four pretty close together so it was important I had some kind of routine going.
The babies had to be up at 7 as I was going in the school run.
They all napped 12-2 and slept 7-7 (with a dream feed at 11)
Although it took dc4 the longest to master that.
The other 3 were 11 weeks, 6 months and 6 weeks.

About 5 months? Younger than that I just kept an eye on wake Windows, although there was obviously a bit of a pattern even when newborn in terms of wake up, nappy change, feed, sleep (awake time somewhere in the mix, gradually increasing). Honestly before then there didn't seem much point .... they weren't awake for long, particularly my boys who were premature and were sooooooo sleepy. So watching wake Windows and going with the flow just worked better until then. They were also always sleeping in the same room as me before then, so lots of napping in pram/in arms rather than in bed/cot.

My eldest I did try to get a routine in place rather earlier. I found it made bugger all difference to how she slept and was just for my sanity! It REALLY doesn't matter in the long run what you do in the early days as far as sleep/routine go. Babies are so malleable in the first 6 months that you can always make changes easily as and when you need to.

Having said that, all of mine seem to have an inbuilt "bedtime". Not that they sleep through from early or anything, but just that there has always been a time that if kept up past they will get fidgetty. 8pm for two of mine, 9.30 for the 3rd. That's a PAIN - he's one of the toddler twins and life would be ten million times simpler if they were ready for sleep at the same time. It shifts a bit with changes in napping, but surprisingly little. Eldest has had the same bedtime (for the most part) of 8.15 for more than 5 years.

Now toddlers..... They DEFINITELY need a routine in my experience as they love the security of repetition and knowing what comes next. I have read the same stories over and over and over and over..... and they always ask for the same flipping lullabys.

Day 1

@calorcalorcalor routine! For a week I stayed home and watched her watch windows and when she wanted to sleep. To make her have a 3hr nap was a tricky one, she resisted for about 3 days with persistent waking. But I'd settle her, pop her back in her crib, and play her music. Day 4 she was sleeping 2-3hrs. Some days are still hit and Miss, like today she only wanted a contact nap as she's been poorly. That's fine, had lovely baby snuggles.

Sleeping through is routine again, her and my DS (6) both have a bath around 7ish, and then she has a bottle and bed.

It was different for all my 3. My youngest we put a bedtime routine early at like 8 weeks because she was finding being downstairs in the evening really overstimulating. My twins it was more like 4/ 5 months before they had a bedtime.

I feel like they kind of let you know...

They aren't newborns though.

When a newborn comes out they don't know day from night so they have to learn.

Even then if they are hungry at night they have to be fed as they have small stomachs.

DS, 6 weeks. I was in pain recovering, bf was going to hell and I needed something to cling on to. It worked wonders.

DD, 5 months. I didn't listen to my common sense and I had years of hell after that. Should have started sooner, but she was baby 2 so I thought I could handle it by then.

Absolutely no routine here for the first few months, feed them when hungry and let them sleep when tired! My son is 18 months and in many ways we still dont have a routine - no set wake up time, meal times or bedtime and still mostly breadfeeding on demand. Sometimes naps at 8am, sometimes 11am. Sometimes goes to bed at 6pm, sometimes 8pm. We started having a 'bedtime' at about 8 months (i.e going upstairs to bed, before then he just slept downstairs with us until we went to bed). He slept in our bed for a year, now he starts off in his room and comes into our room during the night at some point. He still naps downstairs with us

4.5 months is when we started a solid 4 nap routine and I think we dropped pretty quickly to a 3 nap routine not long after 5 months. Feeding routine didn't come until maybe 8 months or so.

Birth. A routine has worked very well for him so far.

He has slept 12 hours since 8 weeks. He’s now 7 months.

2 weeks for both. Was far more strict with baby 1 and it caused so much stress for me but for baby 2 I just followed 3-4 hourly feeds and the wake windows by age. From 2 weeks though we had a bedtime routine of bath and bed by 7pm. Baby 1 would be up at 5, baby 2 is 7. No idea why.

I’m intrigued by how anyone can start a routine from birth. First DC we were in hospital for a week then she screamed for the next 17 weeks. Second DC was asleep for the first four months, he wouldn’t have known a routine if we waved it in his face, his eyes were always closed.

@Reugny

When a newborn comes out they don't know day from night so they have to learn.

Yes they have to be encouraged to recognise night & day. My first didn't need encouraging at all but my second used to try and sleep all day and then perked up about 6pm until around 1am. So with an 18 month old that wasn't sustainable for me. So I used to try to keep second baby awake during the afternoon. It took about 6 weeks. I wouldn't have coped with endless months of chasing about after a toddler all day & then staying up til 1 in the morning with a lively baby. Both always slept through with dream feed around 10/11pm until 6.30/7. I accept that not all babies will conform - but until recent years it was accepted a baby needed a routine. I don't know how things were in older generations but I imagine more babies slept at night.

I didn’t, routines are absolute nonsense for babies.

My baby was incredibly 'easy' and maybe just adapted happily to a routine from the day we got out of hospital so I would disagree that for my family 'routines are a nonsense' .. I put him to bed at 7pm and he slept through with one very quick night feed ... two long day time naps. I can't say for sure if it was the 'routine' or he was just super chilled.

I never had a second so nothing to compare .

Some babies thrive with routines. Mine did.

Babies are different. If we accept that some babies absolutely aren’t suited to routines then it should also be accepted that some babies react really well to routines.

Best thing I did.

Like it has been said on this thread. Babies are different.

Mine wasn’t a screamer and certainly didn’t just sleep for the first 4 months, though he definitely loved his sleep and still does now.

At first, it was just watching wake windows, feeding every 3 hours during the day and having a fixed wake up time no matter what. Gradually, it became a 7-7 routine.

From day 1 (well, day two - we got discharged from hospital when she was 20h old.)

She slept through from 10 weeks despite being EBF 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't agree with anything 'baby-led' I am afraid. Baby needs to fit in with your family, especially if you have other children.
There seems to be a general reluctance to consider any routine on MN, and I agree with the app who said life must be exhausting.
Staying in your pyjamas until midday and not having time to eat (often referred to on MN) because baby 'won't let' you move is not the badge of honour it is usually portrayed as. it is a sign that you have list control of the situation.
I have said before on here, I think this current way of baby-led parenting will be disastrous for mum's mental health later down the line. I can think of few things worse than being stuck to a baby 24/7, never able to be alone and responsive to every whim. And don't get me started on nap trapping, velcro babies, milky snuggles and all the other cutesy terms for basically allowing a baby to rule the roost. Harsh I know, but there you are.
All three of mine were in their own rooms on day 2 with a monitor and all three slept through at 3 months or earlier. Keeping a baby with you when the TV is on at night then all trooping to bed and disturbing each other all nights sounds like a perfect recipe for dreadful sleep all round.